


You never forget your first love

by smkkbert



Category: Arrow (TV 2012)
Genre: F/M, flashbacks to high school and college, slowburn
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-30
Updated: 2016-10-04
Packaged: 2018-08-12 00:42:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 30,232
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7913734
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/smkkbert/pseuds/smkkbert
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Ten years after their young love story ended too soon, Oliver and Felicity meet again during their class reunion. While neither of them misses that there is still chemistry between them, they both think that too much time has passed for whatever they had in high school to be started all over again. Or has it never really ended in the first place?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

>  
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> **For this[@olicityficbang](https://tmblr.co/mX8xrQEXVZzKMfthJzx1SPg) contribution I worked **  
>  **in an amazing team with**
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>   * [@felicity-said--yes](https://tmblr.co/mTzr20xpxKqMIVwarIMaU1g) \- who did this wonderful art work,  
> 
>   * [@hotcookinmama](https://tmblr.co/mWNTxJn6UtQHBU95cUY1Q5w) \- who did a great job as my beta &
>   * my cheerleader @lamangstville
> 

> 
> ****

Come on, she had to be here! She had been the only reason why he had decided to fly all the way to Star City instead of trashing the invitation immediately. She just had to be here!

Oliver kept turning his head, looking around at all the more-or-less-familiar faces of the people who went to school with him. To his own surprise, he remembered most of the people’s names. He hadn’t thought that would happen because admittedly he hadn’t been the guy to remember a lot of names in high school.

He saw some of the guys of the football team he hung around with ten years back. He saw some of the cheerleaders that had been whooping on the side of the field during the game or in their beds right after the game. He saw a couple of guys that had been too cool for sports. He saw some of the wallflowers he had barely ever seen back in school. He saw the nerdiest nerds that had been in their class, but even with them, she wasn’t to be found.

Had she decided not to come? Had she told the organizers of this party that she didn’t have the time to come to Star City to celebrate the tenth anniversary of their high school graduation? Had she seen the invitation and just trashed it, pretending to never have gotten it in the first place?

No, that just couldn’t be it! She had to be here because there was absolutely no reason for him to be here if it wasn’t for her! The moment he had read the invitation, all he had been able to think about had been seeing her, talking to her and finding out if she had achieved everything she had hoped for in life. That was everything he had hoped for her. She deserved to have achieved everything she had wanted to achieve in her life.

“Have you seen her yet?” Tommy asked, straightening up onto his tiptoes to get a better look over the crowd of people, too.

“No, not yet,” Oliver answered a little too quickly before he took a sip of his champagne and asked way too late, “Who are you talking about exactly?”

“You know exactly who I’m talking about,” Tommy replied with a meaningful gaze. “Why else would you have come here if not for her?”

Oliver bit his tongue. No matter how often his sister or Tommy had asked him about it, he had always denied that the only reason he would come here was her. It had seemed desperate after all these years. So he had acted like he had just been interested in seeing his former classmates again. Tommy and Thea had been right though: she _was_ the only reason why he had come here.

He had hated high school. He wanted to forget all about it or at least the most of it. It had probably been one of the most terrible times of his life. She had been the only person that had made his time in high school memorable. Everyone else had just been… there.

So she just _had_ to be here, Oliver thought once more and turned around on his heels to check if she was anywhere near the stage, and-

“Oh my god, I am so sorry!” he said immediately when his movement sent him bumping into someone.

He looked down, seeing his white shirt soaked with champagne. When he turned his head to the woman he had bumped, he saw her wiping off some liquid from her red dress with her delicate hands.

“I am so sorry,” he repeated hastily, putting aside his own glass of champagne and offering a few paper napkins from one of the tables to help her dry the fabric of her dress.

“It’s okay. I should have probably kept a little more distance.”

Only now did he look into her face. Her beautiful blue eyes weren’t framed by the glasses he remembered from ten years ago. Her hair was put up to a wavy hairstyle that made her look all the more beautiful than she already was in his memory. Her full lips were painted in a deep red that perfectly matched the color of her dress.

Oliver felt his heart skip a beat. Every once in awhile in the last ten years, a thought of her had snuck into his mind, and he had wondered what she would be like now. And only onerously he had managed to forbid himself to read each and every article about her and figure out what she was doing because it would have been like torturing himself. It would only remind him of what he could have had if he had fought for her instead of just giving up.

“Felicity.”

Her name escaped his lips before he could stop himself. If there had been any reason for him to not say her name before, it seemed irrelevant the moment she looked at him. A soft smile played on her lips.

“Oliver. Hi.”

God, she was even more beautiful than he had imagined she would be.

“I am so sorry for bumping into you,” he said, pushing aside every thought of telling her how beautiful she was or how he had been obsessively thinking about seeing her again for weeks. “I hope your dress will survive.”

“I am sure it will,” Felicity replied with a forgiving smile, wiping the paper napkins over the wet stains on her dress one last time before putting them back on the table and smoothing some invisible creases from the dress. “And even if it doesn’t, at least _I_ will.”

“That’s all that matters to me,” it escaped Oliver’s lips before he could stop himself.

But why stop himself in the first place, he wondered. It was true. Who cared about the dress? If she didn’t care about it, why would he?

He felt his heart skip another beat at her smile. With her petite stature, she had to raise her head to look at him despite the high heels she wore. She had her head cocked slightly and her lips pursed cutely. He had never been able to say ‘no’ to that adorable face.

Ten years ago, he would have just crossed the distance between them, framed her face with his calloused fingertips and kissed her with all that was in his heart. Ten years ago, he wouldn’t have wasted one thought on doing so because he would have known they had both wanted it. But now? Now Oliver wasn’t sure what to do.

“You look nice,” Felicity said, still smiling at him.

Why was it so much easier for her to talk than it was for him? But then... it had always been so much easier for her than it had been for him!

“Thank you,” he said with a shy smile. “You look… amazing.”

Amazing still didn’t really fit, Oliver thought. She had looked amazing ten years ago when she hadn’t even tried to look good. She looked amazing with her hair tied up to a messy bun, wearing sweatpants, one of his shirts and absolutely no make-up. Now she looked… stunning.

“Thank you,” she said.

Oliver didn’t miss the way she blushed and avoided his gaze for a moment by looking down at the floor. God, how he had missed seeing her blush like that! The last time he had seen her blushing like that she had been naked and spread out in front of him. Back then he had been able to watch the blush spread from her cheeks down her neck over her chest and even further down between her breasts where it had slowly faded away. Now the neckline of her dress only allowed him to watch the blush spreading down to her upper chest where it disappeared under the red fabric.

“Okay, I will leave the two of you alone,” Tommy said, interrupting Oliver and Felicity’s intense eye contact, “before you actually start undressing each other like your eyes already do.”

God, was he blushing now, too?! Oliver could swear that he was because he could feel warmth on his cheeks. Suddenly he felt like the same shy school boy as he did when he had talked to her back in high school.  It was ridiculous since he had never been shy… not until he had met her.

Pressing his lips together and staring at his shoes like they held a precious secret, Oliver thought about what he could say, but nothing came to mind. He shot a glance in Felicity’s direction, hoping she would take the lead in the conversation, but she didn’t even seem to notice his glance. She was busy looking around, almost like she was avoiding his eyes.

“Nice weather today, right?”

The words fell from Oliver’s lips without anything he could have done to stop them. If he hadn’t blushed before, he knew that he was definitely blushing now.

Weather? He talked to her about the weather? Now you’ve completely lost your mind, Queen, he thought.

To Oliver’s surprise, though, Felicity chuckled and finally looked at him, making his heart race in his chest.

“It is indeed,” Felicity replied. “And it serves as a great reason for some small talk because I was actually wondering what to say to you, too.”

“Why is it so weird?” he asked, huffing a quiet laugh. “We used to talk for hours.”

“It was a long time ago,” Felicity replied. “We haven’t talked in years.”

“Still feels like yesterday,” Oliver replied.

Felicity looked at him for a long moment.a Although she was smiling, Oliver could see the glint of sadness in her eyes, and probably she could see it mirrored in his eyes, too.

Ten years without having talked to her had been a long time.

Just when Felicity was about to say something more, a voice sounded from the speakers, asking everyone to sit down for the show program and the dinner.

“Oh, I haven’t even checked where I am supposed to sit,” Oliver said, looking around like he could find his name on one of the place cards from where he was standing in the middle of the dance floor.

“I think Tommy is already signaling you that you should get to him,” Felicity said, nodding to where Tommy was standing at a table and waving in their direction.

“Where do you…?”

“Oh, I think my place is on the exact opposite side of the room,” Felicity said with a chuckle, pointing at the free seat next to Laurel Lance who Oliver knew had been her best friend in high school. “I analyzed the seating arrangements, and I think the organizing team tried to avoid placing  two classmates who ever dated anywhere close to one another. I guess they wanted to make it easier for our new partners.”

Oliver hadn’t brought a date. There was no one for him to bring. Had she brought someone? He hadn’t seen anyone with her, but then he had only just now run into her.  Maybe her plus-one was somewhere here and talking to someone and-

“We should sit down,” Felicity hastily said with a smile, breaking the awkward silence.

“Yeah,” Oliver said unwillingly.

“Yeah,” Felicity repeated with a sigh.

They stood like that for one awkward moment longer. Only when Felicity smiled at him shortly before turning around and heading to her table, did he turn away and head to his table where Tommy was still waving at him.

“How did it go?” Tommy asked as soon as Oliver had sat down next to him.

“How did what go?” Oliver asked. Tommy shot him a side glance, making very clear that he knew that Oliver knew what he was talking about. Oliver only shrugged his shoulders. “We were together in high school and have not talked to or seen each other in ten years. What did you expect?”

“I guess the actual question is, what did _you_ expect?” Tommy asked back.

Oliver didn’t answer, instead taking one of the menu cards and reading.

Yeah, what had he expected?

 

 

_“Okay, I think this archery thing might really work for me,” Tommy said right next to him. When Oliver lifted his gaze from the bow in his hands, he saw his best friend wiggling his eyebrows towards some of the girls in their PE class. “The ladies seem to like this.”_

_Only distantly listening to his friend’s words about which of the girls he should concentrate on first, Oliver drew the bow, aimed his first arrow at the target and let go. The arrowhead hit right in the middle, and Tommy whistled to admit that he was impressed by his friend’s aim._

_“Looks like you’re stealing my show,” he said. “What girl are you trying to attract?”_

_“None,” Oliver muttered under his breath and waited until Tommy was looking away before he shot a short glance to the side._

_The beautiful blonde who had held his heart for months now without knowing it was examining the bow doubtfully. She looked at her friend Laurel and said, “I really don’t get why people are so into this. It’s just… ridiculous.”_

_Sighing, Oliver drew the bow again, aiming the next arrow. It hit right next to the earlier one. How come every girl was impressed by this except the only girl he would like to impress. She thought it was all ridiculous? Why couldn’t he have fallen in love with a less… extraordinary girl?_

_Oliver drew his bow again, intending to hit the target with another arrow when his eyes glanced to Felicity once more. She was aiming an arrow at her target, too, cutting quite a figure. She had strong legs and arms that weren’t positioned exactly perfectly, but her stance wasn’t bad, either. Her eyes were focused on her target intently. She looked like a warrior princess, beautifully dangerous._

_When he felt his pants tighten at the thought, he flinched and-_

_“Ow!”_

_Oliver looked down at his hands with panic in his eyes. Had he really just-_

_“Mr. Queen! Have you lost your mind?! You cannot just shoot your classmates!” the teacher yelled at him, hurrying towards where Felicity had fallen to the floor, staring at where the arrow had grazed her thigh._

_Before the teacher reached Felicity, though, Oliver had already dropped his bow and was running towards her. He kneeled down on her side and wanted to put a hand to her knee, but hastily controlled himself and looked at her with wide eyes._

_“Felicity, I am so sorry! I am so sorry! I was just-“ – thinking about how hot you looked in those tight leggings and with the bow and arrow and suddenly I felt turned on and when I realized it I accidentally let go of the arrow and shot it at you – “distracted!”_

_“You shot me! You actually shot me!” she said, looking at him with angry eyes. “I am bleeding! Do you see that?! There is blood running down my leg!”_

_Oliver gulped guiltily. With a nod of his head, he put one arm under her knees and the other around her waist, then lifted her from the floor easily._

_“Hey, what are you doing?!” she asked, almost screeching it into his ear._

_“Yes, Mr. Queen, what are you doing?” the teacher echoed Felicity’s words, positioning herself right in front of them._

_“I will carry her to the nurse. She is obviously hurt and since it is my fault-“_

_“Damn right!” Felicity interrupted him, staring at him angrily._

_“- I want to make sure she will be taken care of,” Oliver finished his sentence._

_He didn’t give the teacher any opportunity to insist that someone else should take her to the nurse. Instead Oliver just started walking away from the training field and towards the school building._

_Great start, man, Oliver cursed himself in his mind. He had barely talked five sentences to her since… ever. And now he had shot her. The chances of ever getting a date with Felicity Smoak, the smartest girl in the school, had been little before. Now they were like… nonexistent._

_“What the hell were you thinking?!” she suddenly said, crossing her arms in front of her chest and looking at him angrily. Oliver pressed his lips together tightly and looked down with guilt written all over his face. “I mean… of everything you could have hit with that arrow, you had to hit me?! Do you know how much that hurts? I am bleeding! Bleeding! Do you have any idea what would have happened when you had aimed a little more terribly than you already did?! You could have hit organs! I hope you do realize that in that case I would have expected you to donate one of your kidneys or part of your liver or whatever other organ you would have dama- Hey! Not so fast! Not so fast! Not so fast! I don’t want to have my neck broken!”_

_Oliver pressed his lips together more and tried to walk down the stairs a little bit slower, but with each more word that left her full lips, Oliver felt his pants tighten even more. He had felt so sorry before. He still did in some ways because, after all, she was still hurt and probably in pain, but her babbling made it really hard to stay remorseful. Instead he was completely and utterly turned on._

_He felt the blood gathering in the one part of his body right in between his legs. He had listened to her babble multiple times before, but never had that babble been directed at him. Never had it been said with so much anger in her voice. Feeling sorry while being so turned on was really hard!_

_Hard, he thought with a groan._

_“Hey! Why are you groaning?! I am the one in pain!”_

_“Sorry,” Oliver muttered and opened the door to the infirmary._

_As soon as he placed Felicity onto the med table, the nurse came rushing in from the next room. “What happened?” she asked._

_“He shot me!” Felicity answered immediately and pointed at Oliver while crossing her arms in front of her chest again._

_Oliver bit his tongue when the nurse looked at him with an accusing gaze, and he pushed his hands into his jeans pockets, staring down at his feet._

_“Okay, let me take a look,” the nurse said and examined the slightly bleeding wound on Felicity’s thigh. When the nurse cut Felicity’s leggings open a little more to get a closer look, Oliver kept his eyes focused on somewhere far away from her exposed skin._

_Angry babble in combination with too much exposed skin would only make it even worse. He didn’t know what he would do if he became any more turned on than he already was._

_“Okay… We might have to do stitches. Lucky you, there is a doctor around today for some school project. I will ask if he can come by and do this. Just wait here and press this to the wound.”_

_Handing Felicity the gauze, she smiled comfortingly and hurried away._

_“I am really sorry,” Oliver whispered. “I am- What are you doing?”_

_“I am leaving,” Felicity stated, throwing the gauze away and jumping off the med table. She obviously underestimated the pain in her thigh though because she was tumbling right against him. If Oliver hadn’t wrapped his arms around her quickly, she would have fallen to the floor. “It’s not even that bad. It just felt worse at the beginning. It was just the shock. You don’t get shot at every day. But now I am over it, so I am fine.”_

_“Felicity, your face is pale,” worried Oliver, pushing her back onto the med table and keeping her there despite her struggling against his hold. “It’s really better when the doctor-“_

_“No!” she said firmly. “I don’t need a doctor. I don’t need his stitches with his needles and- Nope, I am- Oh frack!”_

_When the nurse came back in, the doctor by her side, Felicity flinched, and her hands grabbed Oliver’s forearm, holding tightly for support. Her nails were digging into his flesh, but Oliver didn’t mind. He just put his hand on hers and squeezed gently. She looked at him in slight fear, and Oliver smiled comfortingly._

_“Okay, yes, we will have to do some stitches here,” the doctor said._

_Felicity looked at Oliver, wordlessly asking for his support, and Oliver squeezed her hands once more. He watched her observing each of the doctor’s moves. She really was scared and it only increased when the doctor approached her with a syringe in his hand. It was his fault she was that scared. If he hadn’t shot her, she wouldn’t need stitches. If she didn’t need stitches, she wouldn’t be scared right now. He needed to fix that._

_Before he could think twice, he put his fingers to Felicity’s chin, turned her head away from the doctor and towards him and pressed his lips to hers gently. Felicity didn’t respond._

_What the hell was he doing?! First he had barely ever talked to her because they were just so different and didn’t have the same friends. There was just no way genius Felicity Smoak would ever want to have anything to do with the idiotic rich-boy Oliver Queen, no matter how madly he had fallen in love with how she bit her bottom lip and blushed when she felt embarrassed or how she could babble about scientific facts Oliver wouldn’t even be able to repeat when he would concentrated on them. Now he was shooting arrows at her and attack-kissing her in less than fifteen minutes! What the hell was wrong with his brain when she was around?_

_Just when he was about to pull back and admit that distracting her by giving into his own desire had been a really bad and stupid idea, Felicity opened her lips to him and shyly responded to the kiss. Her hands hesitatingly let go of his arm and grabbed the front of his shirt instead, clawing at him from what he hoped was something else than the need for comfort and distraction. He could get lost in the kiss. It felt so good. Her lips were so soft, the scent of her skin so sweet-_

_It wasn’t until she flinched that he pulled away. He gazed over his shoulder towards the doctor, seeing him putting the syringe away with a grin on his face. “If I had known you’d bring your own anesthetic, we wouldn’t have needed the medics, I guess.”_

_Felicity blushed and bit down on her bottom lip, one of the uncountable images of her Oliver never wanted to forget. He swiped his thumb over her lip, releasing it from the maltreatment of her teeth. Then he gently brushed his lips against hers once more._

_“I’ve wanted to do that for a very long time,” he told her, kissing the tip of her nose._

_“Me too,” Felicity whispered not more loudly than a breath. When Oliver looked at her with hope and surprise, it seemed to elicit another one of her babbles as she quickly continued, “but then you shot me, and now I need stitches, so… you might have squandered your chances of… whatever. I mean shooting an arrow at me is not really the best way to start a relationship. Not to say that we would have started a relationship because the kiss was really nice, but a kiss is only a kiss and nothing more. Besides, like I stated before, you shot me, and then I panicked and you kissed me, so it wasn’t really of your own volition and more from the need to protect yourself from me because I might have broken your arm otherwise and-“_

_Oliver cut her off with another kiss. He cupped her face and bent her head back, so he could deepen the kiss. His tongue traced the outline of her lips and when she opened her mouth to him, her tongue met his in a dance that felt like they had done it a thousand times before. When their lips parted, Oliver brushed his against hers once more and only then pulled back more fully, so he could look at her._

_“I know this comes a little late, but,” Oliver started, gathering his courage to say the words he had wanted to say multiple times before but had never dared to say them, afraid to be rejected, “would you like to go out to dinner with me?”_

_“Since you shot an arrow at me, the least you should do is invite me to dinner,” she replied, chuckling a little shyly._

_“In that case you have to go out with me at least twice,” Oliver replied, pecking the tip of her nose. “One time” – Oliver kissed the right corner of her mouth – “so I can apologize for shooting the arrow at you. And a second time” – Oliver kissed the left corner of her mouth – “just because I want to go out with you.” He kissed her lips gently. “What do you say?”_

_Felicity looked at him with slight hesitation in her eyes and when she bit down on her bottom lip again, he freed it from her teeth with a smile. He could do this every day from now on._

_“Okay,” she whispered._

_“Okay?”_

_“Okay.”_

_Smiling, Oliver leaned down and kissed her once more, longer this time. His right hand moved into the crook of her neck, and he could feel goosebumps on her skin where he touched her._

_When the doctor was done – when had he done the stitches?! – Felicity tried to get up from the med table, but Oliver hastily put an arm under her knees and one around her waist then lifted her into his arms._

_“I can walk, Oliver.”_

_“Of course you can. Doesn’t mean I can’t carry you,” he told her with a wink and she let her head rest against his shoulder and chuckled softly which widened Oliver’s smile only more._

 

 

“Need another drink?”

Felicity turned around and smiled when she saw Oliver standing right in front of her, holding out a glass of champagne for her while smiling back at her.

Why did his smile have to be just as sweet as it had been ten years back when it had made her fall head over heels in love with him? And why did he have to wear a bowtie and tuxedo like he knew she loved?

Why did he have to look so good at all?

He was more muscular than he had been ten years before. His chest was broader, and with some imagination she could even see the abs through his white dress shirt. He had to be working out a lot to have a body like that! And the new haircut, shorter than in high school, in combination with that scratchy-looking stubble was just perfect. How much she would love to reach out her hand and stroke her fingertips over his scalp and cheek!

Hastily Felicity took a sip of her drink, pushing those thoughts away.

It had been ten years since she had last seen him. No matter how her body might still react to his, they were two completely different people now. Ten years back they had been kids who had fallen crazily in love with each other. She had no idea who he was now, but whoever he was, she was sure that he wasn’t the same. She had changed a lot in the last ten years. Oliver probably had, too.

“How did you like _Madame Butterfly_?” she asked, putting on a polite smile.

“The opera?” Oliver asked, his eyes widening slightly. “Never seen it.”

Felicity frowned, cocking her head and smiling teasingly at him. “You do know that we just had a song of said opera presented to us during the program?”

“We did?” Oliver asked between clenched teeth and chuckled quietly. “I have to admit that I barely paid attention.”

“Checking out what girl to take to your hotel suite to bring back some memories of high school?” Felicity kept teasing, feeling her stomach twisting painfully at her words and simultaneously trying to convince herself that she was only teasing him and not trying to find out if anyone was waiting for him to return.

She did notice that Oliver wasn’t wearing a wedding band. She also noticed that almost every girl who came without a date had glanced at him multiple times during the program. Admittedly, she herself had been no exception.

“Absolutely no interest in reviving most of the memories from high school, and all the girls stories are definitely the ones I want to ban from my mind.”

Felicity lowered her gaze. Of course he had no interest in that! Why would he? It had been high school. They had been kids. They had tried and failed, and now it was over. Well, it had been over the last ten years.

“I didn’t mean to imply that-“

“You don’t have to explain anything to me,” Felicity hastily interrupted, forcing herself to smile at him though his words still made her heart ache. Despite telling herself that it would be stupid, she had still hoped. Stupid her! “I mean… It was high school. We were kids. And I was the one who broke up with you.”

“I think we both agreed to the break-up,” Oliver replied, and she could see him biting his tongue while simultaneously avoiding her gaze.

She knew he always did that when he felt the emotions he wanted to hide could be seen in his eyes. It had been exactly the look she had imagined on his face when she had broken up with him on the phone ten years ago. The expression on his face had haunted her for weeks even after they had broken up.

“Felicity, I-“ Oliver started, but stopped when his phone rang. “Sorry.”

Felicity shook her head, watching him move his hand to the inside of his jacket and pull out his phone. He only cast a short glance at the display before he took the call, still avoiding looking at her and instead directing his gaze somewhere behind her.

“Hi, sweetheart.”

God, she had really made a complete idiot of herself!

She had come here, secretly thinking that maybe seeing Oliver again and talking to him could give them the chance to start over again. Like after ten years of not seeing each other he would spread his arms and take her back like nothing had ever happened… as if the last ten years  hadn’t happened! They were adults now. Just because a part of her was still like the young girl that had fallen head over heels in love with him, it didn’t mean that he still felt anything for her.

Of course she should have known that Oliver wasn’t single! He might not have a wife, and his relationship might not be as serious enough to invite his partner to a class reunion, but Oliver had never been the kind of guy to endure loneliness well. He had always found a girl to compensate the feeling of loneliness. Why should that have changed?

“No, sweetheart, it’s okay,” he said softly. “No. No, no, I am coming home.”

Well, maybe it was more serious than she had let herself admit. If he left a party early to go home to his girlfriend, it had to be serious. Although the party was not actually worth staying anyway, Felicity added a little bitterly.

“I love you, too. Bye, sweetheart.”

When Oliver looked at her, Felicity hastily put back on her smile, hoping it looked more believable than it felt.

“I’m sorry,” Oliver almost whispered. “I need to go home. Lily is-”

“No need to explain anything,” Felicity interrupted hastily.

Had he flinched at her words? Had he wanted to really explain to her why he needed to leave? Felicity bit her tongue, waiting for Oliver to say something more, whatever that would be.

“It was really nice to see you again, Felicity.”

“It was nice seeing you, too,” Felicity replied, still smiling what she considered bravely though her face already hurt.

Slowly Oliver leaned forward. He put a hand to her elbow and lowered his head until his lips brushed over her cheek before they pressed to her skin a little more firmly, so she could feel his stubble scratch her skin right around his lips. Felicity felt her heart pounding against her ribs even more firmly. Her heartbeat only grew stronger when Oliver pulled away and looked at her with a smile that she had always considered hers, at least when they were in high school.

“Bye, Felicity.”

“Bye, Oliver.”

He stayed only a second longer before he pulled back his hand, gave her a last smile and then turned around heading to the exit. Felicity watched him pushing through the dancing people, every now and then waving goodbye at some people, and finally leaving through the door.

So that was it, Felicity thought.

She had wanted to know if there was still a chance for her and Oliver. She had wondered what would have happened if they had never broken up or seen each other again afterwards. It was why she had come here because she had always felt like the door had been left ajar between the two of them. Now that she stood here alone at the corner of the dance floor, the answer was ridiculously obvious. She should have known before, shouldn’t she? It wasn’t like Oliver had grieved their relationship for too long.

Well, at least now she could forever close the door on that chapter of her life and finally move on.


	2. Chapter 2

_“This feels good,” Felicity moaned quietly, turning her head to the side to give Oliver a better access to worship her neck. “Really, really good.”_

_“Hm…” he hummed his agreement against her skin before swiping his tongue over her pulse point starting to suck._

_“Oliver!” Felicity screeched, trying to push him off of her, but Oliver only took her wrists in his big hands and pinned them to the bed, continuing to suck. “Oliver, I am going to have a hickey again! Stop it!”_

_The laugh that escaped her lips betrayed her. No, she didn’t want another hickey. As enjoyable as it was to be kissed by Oliver and to have the right to kiss him wherever and whenever she wanted, especially when some of the mean girls made fun about her nerdy attitude, she really didn’t like being noticed for those hickeys Oliver loved leaving on her skin. But Felicity just loved when he created those marks. He was so eager about it._

_After several seconds, Oliver pulled his head back. He swiped his thumb over the skin where his lips had attacked to wipe away some spit and then examined the mark she was sure there was now. Her heart fluttered at the pride his smile showed._

_“Wipe that smug grin off your face, Queen,” Felicity tried to growl, but again a laugh escaped her lips, betraying her anger._

_“I just love when your anger is all directed at me,” Oliver replied, the smug grin only widening._

_“Don’t say that too loud,” Felicity warned, “or you will experience what it looks like when I am really, really, really angry.”_

_“I can’t wait,” Oliver responded._

_He adjusted his position on top of her, lowering his hips to hers and pressing down, so the bulge in his jeans rubbed perfectly to her clothed centre. The dress of her skirt had ridden up her thigh, so when Oliver moved his hand down her leg, he could feel the softness of her skin right under his fingertips without any barriers between them. Felicity moved her hand to his back, clawing into the fabric of his shirt. She used the hold she had on his body for leverage when she lifted her upper body from the mattress and pressed herself against Oliver, kissing him._

_It was crazy! She knew that it was crazy! They were so young! And all her teenage hormones were making her feel like she was crazy! So, so, so crazy about him!_

_Wasn’t that feeling supposed to decrease after a while?_

_Oliver let his fingertips slowly move up the outside of her thigh from her knee to her hip. Although all Felicity wanted was to press herself closer, lock her legs around Oliver’s hips and rub herself against him, she leaned back, breaking the kiss._

_“What?” Oliver asked. His hand stilled where it was on her hip, the warmth of his palm spreading onto her skin. “Not in the mood?”_

_Felicity rolled her eyes, making Oliver grin smugly. Since they had started to… be intimate with each other, she had become kind of insatiable, and he knew that. At first she had hesitated because Oliver had been her first. All the rumors about him and his experience made her worry that he would like being with her, but Oliver had proved to be just perfect. He had waited patiently and when they had finally made love the first time, he had been so very gentle that Felicity had actually had felt guilty about not trusting him from the beginning, which Oliver had only laughed off._

_“You know it’s not that,” she replied, glancing at the door insecurely, “but what if someone comes in?”_

_“My parents are at Queen Consolidated, and Raisa took Thea shopping,” Oliver assured her. “We have the mansion all to ourselves.”_

_“Well, they could come back, so maybe we should rather work on our college applications and with ‘our college applications’ I actually mean ‘your college applications’ because I finished mine days ago,” Felicity said so quickly that she herself was surprised that she didn’t trip over her own words.”Really, Oliver, you cannot delay that over and over again and-“_

_“How about,” Oliver interrupted her quickly, probably knowing exactly that she was about to talk herself into a long babble, “we burn off some energy here and do the college applications later?”_

_“Why do I feel that it would be smarter to say that we will do it the other way around, so you can burn your energy off as a reward?”_

_“Because you know that once we start, you don’t want me to ever stop?”_

_Felicity slapped Oliver’s shoulder, making him chuckle._

_“That was not what I wanted to say.”_

_“But it’s true, though,” Oliver teased her. “Come on, Felicity. Let’s forget about college applications for an hour.”_

_“You’ve forgotten about it for days.”_

_“Felicity,” Oliver whispered pleadingly._

_Before she got to answer, he lowered his face to hers and gently nuzzled her nose with his taking away her breath with the way he looked at her. His eyes showed the usual expression of love it always showed when he looked at her, but now his pupils were also blown wide with lust._

_Sighing, Felicity admitted defeat._

_“We’re going to do the college applications right after,” she still insisted even when Oliver’s lips were already attacking her neck again._

_“Right after,” Oliver whispered against her skin, his lips never leaving her neck._

_“Why don’t I think that we will actually work on the college applications today?”_

_“Maybe because-“_

_“Ollie!”_

_In one fluent movement, Oliver rolled himself off Felicity, pulled down the hem of her skirt and slid to the foot of the bed like he had just burnt himself with her skin. The next moment the door was ripped open and a small, brown haired girl came running in. Hastily Felicity sat up, too, leaning against the headboard of the bed._

_“Ollie!”_

_“Speedy,” Oliver said with half of a sigh and half of a groan before taking in a deep breath. “I thought Raisa took you shopping.”_

_“We’re already back, silly!” she said back, stepping closer and looking at Felicity. “Hi, Felicity.”_

_“Hi, Thea,” Felicity replied with a smile._

_The seven-year-old looked Felicity up and down, making her blush. How could a little girl make her blush by just looking at her?_

_“Did you run against a shelf?” Thea asked, cocking her head._

_“Why would you-?”_

_“Absolutely,” Oliver hastily answered for her. “You know, she tripped and fell against the shelf. With her neck.”_

_Oliver cleared his throat uncomfortably, and Felicity moved her fingers over her skin, blushing even more when she realized what Thea saw on her neck was the hickey Oliver had left there only a few minutes ago._

_“What are the two of you doing here?”_

_“Working on our college applications,” Oliver and Felicity said in unison, glancing at each other shortly, barely biting back a grin._

_“I don’t see any applications,” Thea stated, crossing her arms in front of her little chest._

_“They are right here,” Oliver replied quickly, pulling out a pile of application forms from under the bed. “We were only just getting started.”_

_“Oh,” Thea said. “I thought we could all watch a movie together.”_

_“Maybe later,” Oliver offered._

_“Okay.”_

_Thea lowered her head disappointedly and turned around to leave. Felicity didn’t miss how Oliver bit his tongue and scrunched his nose at seeing his sister so sad. Although Oliver often pretended to be a cool guy who didn’t know what to do with a sister ten years younger, Felicity realized a long time ago that he loved his little sister with all his heart._

_“How about you go downstairs and pick a movie already, and Felicity and I will follow in a few minutes?” Oliver offered, casting an apologetic gaze in Felicity’s direction, but she only smiled and winked at him._

_“Cool!” Thea said. “Can we watch the new movie Tommy brought last week?”_

_“That is not a movie for little girls.”_

_“I am not little!”_

_“You are seven.”_

_“I already turn eight next week.”_

_“Yes, and there are still eight years and one week missing for you to be old enough to watch that movie,” Oliver replied. “Go down, we’ll be there in five minutes.”_

_“I’ll count the time,” Thea called back over her shoulder while she was already running out of the room._

_When the door fell shut behind her, Oliver breathed out a sigh._

_“Wow, I don’t even want to think about what would have happened if she had caught us,” he said. “Well, watching a movie with her is probably the less bad thing.”_

_Felicity cocked her head. “Why do you always do that?”_

_“Do what?” Oliver asked, pushing the application forms back under the bed._

_“Acting like you don’t like to spend time with Thea,” Felicity replied, getting off the bed and putting on her shoes. “I know you do enjoy it. So why don’t you admit it?”_

_Oliver just shrugged his shoulders, getting off the bed, too. He didn’t answer._

_“I think it’s sweet,” Felicity said, taking her purse._

_She had just taken the first steps to the door when Oliver stepped right behind her, wrapped his arms around her waist and lowered his lips to his ear._

_“Now all I will be able to think about during the movie is how you will be turned on because I am a good brother.”_

_Felicity groaned. “Not everything revolves around sex, Oliver. And now let me go.”_

_She tried to lightly slap his hands away, but Oliver’s arms only wrapped around her more tightly and lifted her from the floor._

_“Oliver!” Felicity screeched, hastily holding onto his shirt in case he would stumble or accidentally let her fall for some other reason. “Oliver, let me down!”_

_But Oliver only chuckled and kept ignoring her requests._

 

 

A quiet knock at the door made Felicity startle from her thoughts with a slight wince.

She really needed to get rid of all those thoughts and memories soon. If she continued to allow those thoughts into her mind – well, she hadn’t really given her allowance for them to occupy all of her thoughts in the first place, but she hadn’t done much to stop them, either – she would just go insane.

It was stupid! She told herself over and over again since the last night.

Well, she should have known that seeing an old lover had the potential of opening old wounds. That had been what had happened to her when she had seen Oliver. Seeing him had opened old wounds. Actually they had opened the second she had received the invitation and wondered what it would be like to see him again. At least now she could completely heal. It was about time!

When there was another knock at the door, she hastily went and opened it up.

“The breakfast you ordered, Ms. Smoak,” the young hotel employee said with a smile and pointed at the small table on castors in front of him.

Felicity took a step aside, letting him in.

“Where do you wish to take your breakfast?”

“Please just leave the table where it is,” Felicity replied, holding out a big tip for him. “I’ll take care of everything.”

The man bowed his thanks, took the money and left.

Casting a glance at her watch and grabbing a muffin, Felicity sighed. Right after breakfast she planned to check-out, take a cab to the airport and go back home where a pile of work was probably waiting for her. The short trip to Star City had stolen time she desperately needed to catch up on work for a project with her most promising employee, Curtis Holt. She had never-

“Hi!”

Wincing almost violently, Felicity let the muffin fall to the floor and put her hand to her chest, trying to calm her wildly beating heart. A young girl  crawled out from under the small breakfast table and grinned at her widely, an amused giggle escaping her lips.

“How did you-?” Felicity started but stopped when she realized that she wasn’t even sure how she should finish the question. She had just seen the girl lifting the white tablecloth and crawl out from under the table, so she already knew how she had come in here, but… “How did you get under there?”

The girl giggled before she answered, “I didn’t want to watch TV anymore, so I wanted to go downstairs to… do something… I think. Then I saw the table and thought it was a good place to hide.”

“But you can’t just hide under tables,” Felicity said calmly. “And you can’t just leave your hotel room without telling your parents.”

“Daddy always says the same thing,” the girl admitted, lowering her face.

“And your daddy is right,” Felicity replied, crouching down in front of the girl, so their eyes were on the same level. “You should listen to him.”

“I do. Most of the time,” she added.

Felicity bit her tongue to keep herself from smiling. “And you really cannot go into strangers’ rooms, you know?”

The girl looked at Felicity for a long moment, unsure of what to say.

“What’s your name?”

“Felicity.”

“Now you’re not a stranger anymore!” she argued with a big grin.

Felicity couldn’t help it. She just had to laugh at that. Children’s logic was something to really enjoy, wasn’t it?

“So what’s your name?” Felicity asked.

“Lily Marie,” she answered. “Lily like the flower and Marie like the first woman who won a noble prize.”

Again Felicity chuckled. “I think you mean the Nobel Prize.”

Lily sighed. “I always say it wrong.”

“Well, you’re still young.”

“No, I am already five!”

“Oh, that changes everything,” Felicity said as seriously as possible. “Come on, I should take you-“

“You look like a princess,” Lily interrupted her, reaching out her hands and playing with some strands of Felicity’s hair. “Princess Felicity.”

“Thank you,” Felicity said, wondering if she had ever been complimented more nicely, and straightened back up again. “But now I need to take you back to your parents and-“

“You also have nice shoes,” Lily interrupted her once more. “They sparkle like diamonds. My aunt has shoes that look the same. Can I try them on?”

Lily lifted her face to look at Felicity pleadingly, and for a short moment Felicity felt tempted to slide off her shoes and let the girl try them on. How could anyone say ‘no’ to those piercing blue eyes? But in the back of her head, Felicity couldn’t help but picture her parents frantically looking fort their daughter.

“Maybe later,” Felicity replied with a smile. “I will call the front desk and ask for your parents’ room, so I can-“

“It’s the 13th of October.”

“What?”

“The room number is my birthday,” Lily explained. “Daddy said that way I can remember.”

Felicity smiled. “Great. So I guess it’s 1310 then.”

“Yes, that was it!” Lily exclaimed, nodding her head and making her blonde curls jump up and down.

“Okay, come on, I am sure your parents miss you already,” Felicity said, holding out her hand for the girl, and Lily took it.

While walking out of the hotel room and listening to Lily telling her how her daddy would probably rant and rave at her for just leaving, Felicity hastily took her key card before the door fell shut behind them. She listened closely to Lily’s words, feeling weirdly at ease with the young girl at her side. She was a nice distraction from the painful memories that had haunted her the last weeks, but especially after last night.

She hastily pushed the thought away and concentrated on the girl’s mindless babble. She kind of reminded her a little bit of herself. Was that weird? It felt weird thinking that!

“Here it is,” Felicity stated when they had reached the right room number.

“Here it is,” Lily repeated with a sigh.

Smiling, Felicity lifted her free hand and knocked quietly. It wasn’t long until a young brunette opened. She smiled friendly at Felicity, then saw Lily at her side, and her eyes widened. Confusedly she glanced back over her shoulder into the room.

“How did you-?” she started asking just when a male voice from somewhere in the hotel room spoke.

“Lily? Hey, where are you, sweetheart?”

Felicity’s heart skipped a beat. She knew that voice. She had almost listened to it non-stop in the last hours when memory after memory had forced itself into her mind. She knew it was him even before she saw Oliver with almost the same confused expression on his face as the brunette’s – a brunette who was way too young for him, Felicity thought a little bitterly, but forbade herself to go that way.

Oliver was an adult, and he wasn’t her boyfriend. So he could do what – and who – he wanted.

He stepped slowly closer, catching Lily, who let go of Felicity’s hand and ran right towards him with an exclamation of “Daddy!” Oliver lifted her into his arms. His eyes shortly checked over the young girl before they found Felicity again, and he whispered, “Hi.”

“Hi,” she said back with a forced smile that made her whole face hurt. “I just- umm… Lily snuck into my suite, and I thought her parents would want her back, and… well, obviously you have her back, so… bye.”

She already turned around quickly and took the first steps back to the elevator when-

“Wait!”

Felicity stood still. She bit down on her bottom lip and turned around on her heels, finding Oliver on the step of the door, handing his daughter to the – still very young – brunette.

“I really gotta go,” she said gesturing over her shoulder to the elevator.

“I just… want to explain,” he said, stepping a little closer. “I sat her down in front of the TV, so I could take a shower and-“

“Hey, little children skedaddle from time to time,” Felicity interrupted him with a chuckled. “It happens, and you really don’t have to explain anything to me. Nothing happened. She was a real sweetheart. Just take better care of her next time.”

“Yeah, I will,” Oliver replied.

Felicity wanted to turn around, but something in Oliver’s eyes stopped her. He looked like he wanted to say something more but was hesitating to actually do it.

“Does Daddy know Princess Felicity?” she heard Lily whisper to the brunette.

“They went to school together.”

So the brunette, possibly Lily’s mother, knew about her? That just seemed to add to the weirdness of the whole situation at hand.

“I should- I gotta go. And I guess the three of you are about to have breakfast, too, so-“

“Oh, yeah,” Oliver replied, stopping shortly before he added, “Thea just served everything.”

Felicity’s eyes widened, and she looked past Oliver to the young brunette. She never would have recognized her without Oliver’s hint. But now that she knew, she could actually see the little schoolgirl in the young woman that was now standing in the door frame.

“Wow,” she whispered, moving her hands over her cheeks when she looked back at Oliver. “That’s Thea? When did we grow so old?”

Oliver chuckled. “It’s weird, isn’t it?”

The way Oliver looked at her made her heart skip a beat before it started racing in her chest wildly and pounding against her ribs.

“Princess Felicity, will you have breakfast here?”

At Lily’s words Felicity looked at the girl, and so did Oliver and Thea.

“Oh, I don’t-“

“Please,” Oliver added.

Her heart was almost completely out of control by now. She could hear the rushing of blood in her ear, making it hard to hear anything else. And still it was so stupid!

“Oh, I don’t know. I think-“

“Come on, Felicity,” Thea said, nodding to the inside of the hotel room. “I haven’t seen you in so long. Let’s talk a little. When will I ever get the chance to see you again?”

Felicity bit down on her bottom lip. She shouldn’t stay. She really should turn around, eat her own breakfast and then go back to Central City where she was needed.

And still she heard herself saying, “Okay.”

They walked into the spacious hotel room together, and Thea led them to the small table filled with the room service food.

“Lily, come on. We’ll share a chair,” Oliver suggested.

When Thea let her niece down on the floor, the young girl did as she was asked, ran up to her daddy and climbed into his lap. Thea meanwhile turned around to Felicity, hugging her.

“It’s so nice to see you again.”

“It’s really nice seeing you again, too. Honestly, I wouldn’t have recognized you if your brother hadn’t said it was you,” Felicity admitted. “I just never pictured you to be a… grown-up.”

Thea chuckled. “Well, there was nothing I could do to help it.”

They all sat together around the small table. It was way too small for four people, even when one was only five years old, but it also had like a really comfortable feel to it. In the last few years, Felicity’s breakfast had been a mug of coffee on her way to work, sometimes added by a cold slice of pizza from the day before.

“I think dad once mentioned that you have your own company now?” Thea asked when they started eating. Although it looked like Lily was more playing with the food than actually considering eating it.

“Oh, yes,” Felicity replied, breaking off a small piece of a muffin and putting it into her mouth. “Smoak Technologies. It’s like my dream come true.”

Oliver smiled. “I always knew you would do great.”

“Thank you,” Felicity said with a blush, feeling her stomach fluttering at his words. “What about the two of you? What are you doing?”

“Oh, I am still forcing myself through the last months of school,” Thea replied, rolling her eyes.

“And I took over a small subsidiary of Queen Consolidated in Ivy Town, at least when I don’t do princess tea parties.”

“Can we do another princess tea party when we’re back home, daddy?” Lily asked.

“Sure.” Oliver replied, winking at his daughter, and she straightened up and kissed his lips.

“Really?” Felicity asked, pursing her eyebrows. “I never really pictured you sitting behind a desk and… I don’t know… wearing suits or princess dresses?”

“Neither did I to be honest. My plan was actually to build a club with Tommy,” Oliver answered with a sigh before he stroked his hand over Lily’s hair and kissed her cheek, “but it was time to grow up.”

Wow, Felicity thought. She remembered how ten years back Oliver had been hesitant about openly showing his affection for Thea. Although she knew that it actually wasn’t comparable because Lily was his daughter, she still felt affected by how easy it seemed to be for him to show how much he loved his daughter. The way he looked at Lily, it actually reminded Felicity of how he had looked at her ten years back. Only there seemed to be even more love and affection in his eyes now. Did that make sense?

Felicity wondered if there was any subtle way to ask about Lily’s mother without opening wounds that might still be there, whether for Lily or Oliver. She herself had been left by her father, and the scars had never truly healed. The last thing she wanted was to remind a five-year-old of having been left if that was the case. And neither did she want to seem all too nosy. Felicity just… wondered.

Because, at least biologically, there had to be a mother to the young girl that was sitting on Oliver’s lap and pushing pieces of food into his mouth every now and then.

“Since it’s only Lily and me, I just had to take up the responsibility,” Oliver suddenly added like he had read her thoughts, and when Felicity looked up from the muffin in her hands, she saw Oliver looked at her intensely.

“Did she…?” Felicity asked, not finishing because she wasn’t sure what exactly to ask anyway.

“She wasn’t ready to take the responsibility,” Oliver replied quietly. “She was never part of our life.”

Felicity glanced at Lily, but the girl didn’t even seem to mind. She just kept talking to herself and playing with her food. Often young age was a blessing. Lily might be old enough to wonder why she didn’t have a mommy, but she was probably too young to actually understand why her mother had left – or misinterpret by feeling guilty over it.

“What about you?” Oliver asked.

“What about me?” Felicity asked back, unsure what he meant.

Oliver smiled amusedly, making Felicity’s stomach flutter once more. She felt like she was seventeen and head over heels in love again. How was that even possible? She was an adult now! She should be more mature about him. And they have been broken up for like ten years!

“Do you have someone?”

“I have Curtis,” Felicity answered mindlessly. “He is great, just as much into technologies as I am. Working with him really is fun.”

“Sounds good,” Oliver replied with a smile that seemed weirdly frozen into place. “I’m glad that you have someone.”

“Yeah,” Felicity replied with a sigh. “Would be even better if he wasn’t married. To a man.”

At that Oliver’s smile grew warmer again. “Not lucky in love?”

“No,” Felicity said with a smile, pushing the rest of her muffin into her mouth. “I had someone a few years ago. We wanted to get married, but… it just didn’t work.”

 “Sorry to hear that,” Oliver said, not really looking to sorry about it.

Felicity shrugged her shoulders. “He just wasn’t the one, no matter how hard he tried to be and how hard I tried to make myself believe that he was.”

Her heart stopped when she looked at Oliver.

God, was he looking at her like he had been looking at her ten years ago? Or was she crazy? Was she just reading things into his mannerisms that weren’t there? Did she just want to read things into his actions because she felt them? Yesterday she hadn’t been sure about what he was thinking or feeling. Then he had gotten that phone call, and she had thought that he was talking to a girlfriend. Now he seemed to be single, but he had a daughter. It was different from what she had expected but not actually easier, was it?

Besides, after how they had ended things all these years ago, she really shouldn’t feel this way about him, and she really shouldn’t allow herself to hope that he felt anything for her.

From the corner of her eye, Felicity could see Thea looking from one to the other without saying anything, and it suddenly made her very aware of how weird the situation really was.

All of this was only going to make it even harder to let go of the ridiculous idea that there could ever be anything between Oliver and her again. She was sitting here -- with his sister and his daughter -- feeling like this was a date because her body made her feel all these weird things. Really he had only invited her in the room because he had had no chance after Lily had asked her to stay.

“Do you want more coffee?” Thea asked, already reaching out her hand for Felicity’s mug, but Felicity hastily grabbed her key card and shook her head.

“No, I really gotta go now.”

“Already?” Oliver asked. “You just came in.”

“Uhm… Yeah, I- I gotta go back to Central City. There is work waiting for me.”

“Oh,” he said, kissing Lily’s temple before pushing her off his lap and getting up. “I’ll walk you to the door.”

“I’ll go with you!” Lily announced and was almost running to the door already when Thea hastily held her back and pulled her onto her lap, whispering something into her ear that made the girl giggle. “Okay.”

“Do you want to say goodbye to Felicity?” Thea asked.

Hastily Lily slid off her aunt’s lap and hugged Felicity’s thighs. “Bye, Princess Felicity.”

Felicity chuckled, stroking her hand over the little girl’s hair. “Bye, Lily Marie – Lily like the flower and Marie like the first woman who won a noble prize.”

“It’s the Nobel Prize, Felicity!” Lily corrected her with a chuckle.

“Smart girl,” Felicity replied, winking, before Lily stepped back and Felicity bent down to lean her cheek against Thea’s, squeezing her shoulder. “Bye, Thea. And stop growing up. You make me feel like I am getting old.”

“I hope it’s not another ten years before we see each other again,” Thea replied.

“Hey, my door is always open for you to visit me.”

“I might take you up on that.”

“It would make me happy.”

With that Felicity straightened back up and followed Oliver to the door in a weird silence that made her bite down on her bottom lip.

“Why didn’t you stay at your parents’ mansion?” Felicity suddenly asked. “It would have probably been more comfortable.”

“Probably,” Oliver answered, turning around to her when they had reached the door. “But I don’t think I can bear too much of my parents at once. We will go see them today and then head back to Ivy Town tomorrow. Thea is coming with us for a week of vacation.”

“Sounds like a lot of fun.”

“I am sure it will be. The two against me, what’s better?”

Felicity chuckled. “I am sure you will enjoy it nonetheless.”

“Probably,” Oliver replied, looking at the door for a moment. “You really have to go already?”

“I didn’t have time to come to Star City in the first place. I just couldn’t resist seeing everyone again,” Felicity explained, only barely stopping herself from slipping that the only person he had wanted to see had been him. “I really have to go now.”

So Oliver nodded. “It was really nice seeing you again.”

“Yeah, you, too,” Felicity replied, shortly glancing over her shoulder. “I am still not over the fact that you are like the perfect showpiece daddy.”

“Oh, I am nowhere close to perfect, and-“

“You are very close,” Felicity interrupted him gently. “I have only seen the two of you interact for a short time, but she loves you so much. You’re a good dad. I didn’t have any, so I can tell.”

“But-“

“Just accept the compliment, Oliver.”

Oliver pressed his lips together and pulled them into his mouth before he nodded. “Thank you.”

“Smart boy,” she said in the same tone that she had praised his daughter and winked at him.

She straightened up onto her tiptoes, put her hand on his shoulder for leverage and pressed her lips to his cheek, his stubble scratching her soft skin.

“Bye, Oliver.”

“Bye, Felicity.”

 

 

_“You don’t want to tell me that those are all your applications, right?” Felicity asked, lifting the long to-do list she had made for their applications from Oliver’s desk and turning around to him. “There are still a lot colleges left to apply to.”_

_“Hey, I am just being realistic,” Oliver said, putting his hands to her hips and pulling her close._

_Felicity put her hand to his chest and pushed him away from her, making him groan._

_“Oliver, seriously,” she said, pointing at the only partly completed to-do list in her hands. “Please tell me that these aren’t the only applications you’ve completed? Please tell me that you already sent some.”_

_Oliver scratched the back of his head, pursing his lips. “I might have been a little bit picky about what colleges to apply to.”_

_“No offense, but your grades really don’t leave any room to be picky.”_

_“If I had known earlier that I would be with the smartest girl in school, I would have put more effort into my studies at the beginning of high school.”_

_“You better should have. It might get hard to get into college for you…”_

_“Well, I’m applying to a lot of colleges in the Boston area. One of them should take me.”_

_Felicity cocked her head, unable to help but smile. “We don’t even know if MIT will accept me.”_

_“They would be stupid if they didn’t. Every college will want to have you,” he said._

_His tone was so gentle that Felicity couldn’t stop herself from leaning forward and brushing her lips against his in thanks. Only when Oliver tightened his hold on her Felicity took a step back again, parting their bodies. And again Oliver groaned._

_“Come on, we will work on your college applications right now.”_

_“Can’t we-?”_

_“No,” Felicity said strictly. “I have a personal interest in getting you into a college somewhere close to Cambridge.”_

_“You do?”_

_“Hmhmm,” Felicity hummed affirmatively, but stepped away from him when Oliver attempted to come closer to her. “No being sexy before those are completed. Get your laptop ready. When we both work on it, we will get this finished quickly.”_

_“Fine,” Oliver grumbled._

_Felicity chuckled, stroking her hand over his cheek. “Don’t worry. You’ll get rewarded if you’re doing well.”_

_“Will I get rewarded when I do well in college, too?”_

_“Sure,” Felicity replied._

_“Oh, then I am most definitely going to be the best student!”_

_“That would be a nice change.”_


	3. Chapter 3

“You know, maybe I should neglect all this paperwork more often,” Felicity said when she saw Curtis entering her office from the corner of her eye. Without looking up from the papers she had been asked to sign for the human resources department, she said, “because I did the work that piled up on my desk in the last five and a half weeks in only fifteen days. Actually working with computers instead of doing the paperwork about working with computers is like a drug. I feel like I am doped and-“

“You’re sure it’s not the coffee that makes you feel that?”

“I didn’t have that much coffee,” Felicity objected, signing the documents at hand and putting them in the pile of work she had already done.

“Really?” Curtis asked doubtingly.

When Felicity lifted her gaze from the next paper, she saw him cocking his head at her and gesturing towards the edge of her desk where close to a dozen coffee mugs were lined up. When had she drunken all of those?

“Oops.”

“Gerry said you have kind of slept in the office since you returned from your class reunion. Only you probably haven’t slept and only dozed a little before fighting the tiredness with more coffee,” Curtis said, obviously trying to sound as casually as possible when he pushed the coffee mugs away a little, so he could sit down on the edge of Felicity’s desk. “Did you meet your hot, high-school sweetheart that I would definitely try to hit on if he wasn’t straight, and I wasn’t married?”

“I did,” Felicity replied, going through the first lines of the contract in front of her but feeling like the words escaped her mind before she could properly process them, forcing her to read the same line over and over and over again.

Drowning herself in work had definitely helped to push away thoughts of him since the moment his hotel room door had fallen shut. She hadn’t allowed herself time to think about him or her confusing feelings. Whenever she hadn’t been busy, and hence would have had time to think about it, she had been so exhausted that she had kind of just passed out, often not even making it home.

“How did it go?” Curtis asked.

“Curtis, is there anything you want other than prying into my af-“ Felicity started, but she hastily thought about a better way to express herself than speaking of affairs, “-things?”

“Hey, we’re friends! I am allowed to pry into your affairs.”

“Well, there is no affair to pry into, okay?”

Felicity didn’t miss how her voice sounded a little too harsh, so with a sigh, she let her pen fall to the tabletop and rubbed her hands over her face.

“Sorry, I might have worked a little too much lately,” she admitted, leaning back in her chair with a sigh before turning to look at Curtis, who had his head cocked at her.

“Sure it’s only that?” he asked.

“What else would it be?”

Curtis cocked his head even more, raising an eyebrow. “Maybe seeing your ex during that reunion? I guess it didn’t work the way you expected?”

Felicity chuckled sadly, taking in a deep breath before exhaling with a long deep sigh and shaking her head.

“I lost myself in the idea that maybe Oliver and I could start all over again, but I think I forgot that we had good reasons for why we broke up and stayed broken up, and…” Felicity stopped, shaking her head once more. “Oliver and I are completely different people now with completely different lives. It’s… it’s really complicated. Even more complicated than it has been before.”

“Complicated because…?” Curtis asked.

Felicity sighed, shrugging her shoulders, and when Curtis cocked his head just a little bit more, she chuckled sadly once more.

“Can we just agree not to talk about it anymore because it’s over? Once and for all?”

She looked at him for a long moment before she turned back to the contract on her desk, trying to finally  process  its contents. But the feeling of Curtis’s gaze on her skin made it impossible to concentrate on any of the words.

“I wished you would have finally found someone. It’s been awhile since you broke your engagement with-“

“I have my job,” Felicity interrupted him. “And I love my job.”

“Still I feel like-“

“Can we please stop talking about it now?” Felicity interrupted him once more. “I want to get through these files before I leave tonight, so-“

“Sure,” Curtis hastily said. “I’ll leave you to your work then.”

Felicity watched Curtis head to the door and had her attention already returned to the contract when Curtis turned back around to her once more.

“Felicity?”

“Hm?” she asked, looking up from the contract once more.

“Paul and I wondered if you’d like to come by for dinner next weekend,” he said. “It’s been awhile since we spent an evening together outside this building, and Paul would like to see you again, too, so…”

Now it was Felicity, who cocked her head. “You do realize that I don’t need someone to take care of me, right?”

“You do realize that a friend can invite a friend over without feeling like they need to be taken care of, right?”

Felicity smiled. “I’d love to come over for dinner.”

“So I’ll tell Paul to prepare everything,” he announced. “See you, Felicity.”

“See you, Curtis.”

Felicity returned her attention to the contract, but no matter how much she tried to process the words, they didn’t seem to get into her head.

 

 

_“I should have put more effort into good grades.”_

_Oliver’s voice was quiet when he lowered his face to the letters in his lap, looking them through for what felt like the umpteenth time since she had come here. Felicity was sure that he had looked them through at least as often before she had arrived. Still he seemed like he couldn’t believe what he had read._

_“So Coast City Community College is the only college that accepted you?” Felicity asked just to make sure that she hadn’t understood anything wrong._

_Oliver handed her the letters, and just like he had before, Felicity looked through them, seeing with her own eyes what Oliver had told her three times already. Only now did she really believe it. It crushed all her hopes that he might have missed something or was just kidding her._

_But it was all true. Coast City Community College really was the only college that had accepted him._

_How was that even possible? Oliver had applied to so many colleges on the east coast because he had wanted to stay somewhere close to MIT. How come it had to be the one college on the west coast that accepted him?_

_“Maybe I can just… I don’t know…” Oliver started, and Felicity looked up at him, seeing him watching her closely, “Work for a year or two in Boston and try to get into college again after that?”_

_“Your parents would never agree to that,” Felicity replied, shaking her head._

_She had known that it wouldn’t be easy for them to stay near each other for college because Oliver’s grades really hadn’t been the best, but she had thought that they would still both be on the east coast or something. How were they supposed to stay together with the whole country separating them? Long-distance relationships never worked, did they? Especially at such a young age._

_It was stupid because they were still so young, and so much in their lives could still change, but Felicity really didn’t want to lose Oliver. She wanted to stay with him, and she wanted to stay close to him, not have three thousand miles between them._

_“Maybe I could-“_

_“No.”_

_“You don’t know what I was going to say.”_

_“You were going to suggest not going to MIT, but I won’t let that happen.”_

_“Oliver-“_

_He interrupted her with a gentle kiss to her lips, making her melt against him as she put her hands to his wrists to keep his hands where they framed her cheeks. So when Oliver pulled away enough to look at her again, his hands stayed where they were, his thumbs continuing to stroke over the skin of her cheeks gently._

_“You came here, and you were all excited about getting accepted into MIT,” he told her in a whisper, a sad smile forming on his lips, “and I can’t let you give up on your dream only because I’ve been an idiot, and didn’t invest enough time and effort into good grades.”_

_“But-“_

_“No,” Oliver whispered, shaking his head. “You will go to MIT, and you will be great.”_

_Felicity lowered her gaze to the papers in her hands, feeling two tears escaping her eyes that Oliver wiped away with his thumbs._

_She wanted to go to MIT. It had been what she had always wanted. Even before she had built her first own computer, she had known that she wanted to go to MIT. It offered the best classes for her interests, and she knew that it opened the most doors for her._

_She just didn’t want things with Oliver to end. He was her first love, and she was crazy about him. She didn’t want to leave him. She didn’t want them to go to colleges that far away from each other._

_“We’re gonna be fine,” Oliver promised in a whisper, resting his forehead against hers. “It’s only a few years, and I’ll visit you as often as I can, okay?”_

_“But-“_

_“Felicity,” Oliver said not more loudly than a breath and kissed her once more._

_His tongue slipped into her mouth, and Felicity moaned when it met hers in a familiar dance. Not breaking the kiss, she put Oliver’s papers down and climbed into his lap. Her arms closed around his neck, her legs around his hips. She anchored herself to him completely. She could feel his heartbeat against her ribs, and her own heart adjusted to the beating of his, so they beat in unison._

_Nobody had ever made her feel as safe or as loved as Oliver had. She had become so used to having him right with her whenever she needed him that she really couldn’t imagine what it would be like to only see him like once in awhile._

_It would be hard! So hard!_

_When their lips parted, Oliver rested his forehead against hers, tugging some strands of hair out of her face and behind her ear._

_“Felicity, I love you,” he whispered. “And we will make it through this, okay?”_

_“How can you be so sure?”_

_She didn’t open her eyes. She knew that she would only start crying. So she kept her eyes closed, feeling his breath ghost over her face. His nose nuzzled hers gently, making her smile through the tears that now started falling nonetheless._

_When Oliver still didn’t answer and instead just kept nuzzling her nose, she slowly opened her eyes, finding him smiling at her lovingly. It made her heart skip a beat._

_“I am sure because I admired you from the other side of the classroom for months without talking to you. I can admire you from the other side of the country when we talk to each other regularly, and that we will do.”_

_“You’re sure?”_

_Oliver’s answer was just another kiss to her lips. It was a slow and gentle one that reassured her more than any words could do. When Oliver’s hands found their way under her dress, she believed that his words were true. They were going to make it because they loved each other, and they both agreed that this was their only chance. They would make it._

_A small voice though continued to spread doubts in the back of her head._

 

 

“Let it go, let it go! Can’t hold it back any mooore! Let it go, let it go! Turn away! Let it go! Let it go! Let it go! Let it-”

“Lily, would you mind singing a different song?” Oliver asked, shooting a gaze over his shoulder to where Lily was sitting at the kitchen table, drawing a picture.

He was used to hearing her singing all day. He didn’t mind her singing at all because it only showed that she had a good day and nothing was bothering her, but he had been listening to his little girl singing the same few lines of that song over and over again in the last three hours. He just needed some variety, or he would go insane.

“Okay,” Lily answered.

Immediately she started to sing a different song, _Do You Want to Build a Snowman?,_ as Oliver realized when the mumbled lyrics grew a little louder. Smiling, he continued to do the dishes. Lily just loved that movie so much. He had watched it uncountable times with her before, and still whenever it was her turn to pick a movie, she chose it again, and he let her. Oliver enjoyed listening to her speaking every word of the movie with the characters. It was by far his favorite evening activity.

“I still don’t get why you didn’t ask Felicity to stay longer, so you could catch up on each other’s lives,” Thea said, standing right next to him with her arms crossed in front of her chest.

“Felicity has an important job in Central City, and I didn’t want Lily to be away from home for too long.”

Since they had returned to Ivy Town, Thea hadn’t let go of the topic. She had mentioned Felicity every now and then. At first she had tried to be subtle, making allusions to the nice breakfast they had had in the hotel and how nice it must have been for him to meet all those people from high school again. Now she was addressing it openly.

Maybe he should have let Lily continue to sing that song, Oliver thought with a sigh. Maybe that way Thea would just let it go as the lyrics suggested.

“I don’t understand how you could let an opportunity like that just pass.”

“What opportunity, Thea?” Oliver asked.

“The opportunity to find out if the chemistry you still have could lead to something more,” Thea replied immediately. “I mean… I could see it during the breakfast, and Tommy could see it during the reunion party.”

“You talked to Tommy?”

“Sure. We texted all night and a few times since then.”

Traitors! Both of them!

“And what do you think you saw?” Oliver asked.

Giving up on doing the dishes, Oliver dried his hands with one of the dishtowels and turned around to his little sister who looked at him with her eyebrows perked.

“That things are still as unfinished for Felicity as they are for you.”

“Things between me and Felicity are not unfinished. We broke up years ago. That definitely feels like an end to me, no things left unfinished between her and me.”

“Are you talking about Princess Felicity?” Lily asked, interrupting her singing.

“Yes,” Thea said with a nod of her head. “You liked her, didn’t you?”

“She looks like Elsa,” Lily answered with a giggle. “And she has sparkling shoes like Cinderella.”

“She did, didn’t she?” Thea asked.

Again Lily giggled, returning her attention to her drawing and singing.

“I know the two of you broke up, but neither of really wanted to break up,” Thea whispered to Oliver.

“Speedy, you were a child when that happened. God, even Felicity and I were kind of still children.”

“Maybe,” Thea said with a sigh, shrugging her shoulders, “but I remember pretty well how sad you were in the months after the breakup. And since Felicity, I’ve never seen you really in love with any other woman… except for Lily, but she doesn’t count in this.”

“Lily is all that counts,” Oliver explained.

He looked at where Lily was still sitting at the kitchen table, singing and drawing without a care. Since the moment he had held her in his arms for the first time, his whole life had revolved around her. He had changed everything about how he had lived and who he had been to give her everything there was to offer and be the father he had never thought he could be.

Lily was the most important person in his life and the most important factor in all of his decisions. She had turned his whole life upside down.

When her mother, a one-night hookup after a drunken night in a club, had told him about her pregnancy, he had been shocked. He hadn’t known how to handle it; he hadn’t thought he would be ready or able or even really willing to take up the possibility. So there hadn’t been any plan on how to handle it. They had tried to force a relationship, but it hadn’t worked. They broke up long before Lily was born, not making plans about what to do with the child after the birth. Giving her up for adoption had been in his mind actually. But he was there for the birth, and then suddenly the nurse put the crying bundle of newborn life into his arms.

And everything changed. His whole universe changed.

He stated that he wanted to raise her on his own, and her mother had let him. She had given their daughter into Oliver’s care and never once tried to contact them. Oliver knew he had no right to blame her -- he had been close to doing the same,  almost giving his daughter to strangers --  but sometimes it still made him feel bitter in some way.

That only made him convinced he had to be an even better father for her.

“I didn’t mean that she doesn’t count at all,” Thea said, rolling her eyes. “I just mean that Lily cannot be the one and only woman in your life, or you’ll become one of those terrible, overprotective fathers who can’t let go because she is your whole life, and everything will be empty without her.”

“I have a job, and friends… and you.”

“Ollie,” Thea said with a sigh, stepping forward and putting her hands to his shoulders. “You deserve to be happy with a woman you love. And the only woman I have ever watched you loving is Felicity.”

Oliver bit his tongue. He couldn’t object to that because he knew Thea was right. Felicity had been the only woman he had ever truly loved. He hadn’t wanted the breakup when it had happened, but he also hadn’t been able to allow himself to interrupt her path of being a great and important person in the cyber business. Admittedly, the thought of trying a relationship with her again was tempting, but…

“I have Lily. And… I can’t just start a relationship, especially when I don’t know if it’s going to work because it wouldn’t be fair to her,” nodding towards Lily. “And apart from that, Felicity and I still have the same problems - we’re living miles apart. Neither of us can just move. She has a company in Central City, and Lily and I have a life here. Ten years ago she gave up on our relationship because of the distance -- we both did actually -- and I don’t see why it would be any less difficult living so far away now. It will only be more complicated with her company in Central City and my responsibilities here. It was...  It’s just too complicated.”

It was even more complicated than it had been ten years ago.

Lily had to be his priority. He couldn’t just let someone into their life because he wanted to try and reconnect with his first love. It just wouldn’t be fair to her.

“I don’t think you should use Lily as an excuse just because you’re scared,” Thea said quietly, looking at her niece. “One day you might hold it against her.”

Oliver looked at Lily. She seemed so unburdened. She was most of the time. Oliver didn’t want to change anything about that. If she bonded with Felicity and the romantic relationship didn’t work between them, Lily would be feeling the aftermath of their breakup just like he and Felicity would.

Thea hugged her brother, rubbing her hands over his back and whispering into his ear, “Felicity is a good person, and I know she’ll understand you wanting to make sure Lily is dealing with the changes a relationship could cause.  I don’t see her messing around with Lily’s well-being in any way. I think you owe it to yourself to at least try. After all... you never stopped loving Felicity.”

 

 

_Silence._

_Oliver had never been one to enjoy silence. He had always tried to surround himself with a lot of people and went to loud parties because he really hadn’t been able to bear silence._

_It changed when he met Felicity, who usually filled whatever silence there was with a mindless babble that made him smile like an idiot. When she was silent because they were sharing a quiet moment, it was a silence he actually enjoyed._

_Up until the last few weeks._

_Now the silence was almost deafening. It hurt in his ears and his head and every other cell of his body as stupid as that sounded._

_It had been four months, one week and four days since they had said goodbye to each other at the airport and Felicity had headed off to MIT. Oliver had moved to Coast City only a few hours later. He thought that it was only going to take maybe three weeks until they could see each other again, but all the school work caught him completely off-guard. He had to spend every waking hour working to keep up. e He couldn’t fail any of his classes while being with one of the most intelligent people on the planet, especially if he wanted to be able to transfer to a school near her. Of course Felicity had a lot less trouble keeping up. She was already the best in all of her classes. She refused to let him buy her a ticket to visit him, though. She was too proud for that._

_So here they were, doing their usual phone call like they had done every single day since they had said their goodbyes, and neither of them knew what to say._

_The first weeks it had been so easy. They had told each other everything about their days, declaring how much they loved and missed each other. And now? Now there was nothing they could say that wouldn’t remind them of their distance  and how separate their lives actually were._

_“Oliver, I-”_

_“Please don’t.”_

_The whisper had escaped his lips before he had been able to stop himself. Oliver squeezed his eyes shut, resting his forehead against the cool glass of the window and trying to get his heartbeat to slow down._

_“Oliver,” Felicity whispered again, and he could swear he could hear tears in her voice. “I think we should… talk.”_

_“I don’t want to talk,” Oliver said a little more loudly, leaning back from the window and looking around in his room without really seeing anything, “because as soon as we talk, it’s over.”_

_Felicity was barely ever quiet, and when she was, it was either because she was asleep or because she was sad. Lately their phone calls had been filled with quiet, so he knew she was unhappy. He didn’t want her to be unhappy. It was actually the exact opposite. He wanted her to be happy. He wanted her to have everything she wanted in life._

_But he didn’t want to lose her._

_“It’s just…” Felicity started before her voice broke, and she had to take in a deep breath. “It’s just that this… this long-distance relationship… it… it doesn’t work, does it?”_

_Of course it didn’t. Neither of them was really living their lives or enjoying their college time.  When they weren’t busy with school or other responsibilities, , they tried to get each other on the phone. So actually they were doing both - their new lives and their relationship - only halfheartedly._

_Oliver knew that. He knew that, and he hated it. But he didn’t want to give up just yet._

_“Maybe we just have to try harder,” he suggested between gritted teeth._

_“How?” Felicity whispered. “How can we try even harder? We have tried for months now, and… college time was supposed to be a happy time for both of us, but we aren’t happy. At least I am not, and I think if you’re honest with yourself-”_

_“I am unhappy because I want to be with you, but we’re miles apart.”_

_“But there is nothing we can do to change that.”_

_Oliver sucked in a deep breath, trying to hold onto... something he wasn’t sure what it was. His self-control or maybe hope? Or simply her?_

_He wished he could just drop out of college, move to the other side of the country and live in Boston with Felicity, but he knew his parents would never approve of that , and he wasn’t sure if he could just disappoint them without regretting it one day. He had disappointed them so often, and this felt like exaggerating it. He was even worried he would one day hold it against Felicity if he just threw in the towel. So he knew it wasn’t going to happen. He wasn’t going to drop out of college and move to Boston._

_“There has to be another way.”_

_“But there isn’t.”_

_There wasn’t. There really wasn’t._

_“So that’s it?”_

_“Oliver, can you honestly tell me that you think this relationship makes any sense the way it is right now?”_

_“I think-” Oliver started but stopped and bit his tongue._

_He loved Felicity. He didn’t want to let go of her. It wasn’t fair to make her hold on when she wanted to let go, though. If that was what she really wanted, he couldn’t ask her to stay with him. He knew that it wasn’t easy for her, either. She loved him. He knew that._

_So he had to let go for her sake._

_“I think you’re right,” he said, no matter how much everything inside him hurt when he said that. “Maybe it’s the best we can do.”_

_Felicity didn’t say anything, but Oliver could hear her sucking in a deep, slightly sniffling breath._

_“So that’s it?” Oliver asked._

_“I guess it is,” Felicity whispered back._

_“Are we… going to… pretend to be friends until we realize that we can’t do that?” Oliver asked, not missing how his voice sounded a little more bitter than he had intended._

_“I think it’s best for both of us if we just… you know… I think a clean cut is probably what we need.”_

_“So no more letters, no more messages, no more phone calls,...?”_

_“I think we owe ourselves to be happy and enjoy this new and exciting time, and we can only do that when we let go completely. So yes, no more letters, no more messages, no more phone calls.”_

_Oliver nodded though he knew that she couldn’t see it. He just knew that if he tried to talk now, his voice would break, and Felicity would know about the tears he was forcing to keep from rolling down his cheeks._

_“I love you, Oliver.”_

_“I love you, too,” Oliver whispered back so quietly he wasn’t sure whether Felicity could even hear it._

_And again silence settled. They both knew there was nothing left to say but the one word neither of them really wanted to say. So they stayed on the phone for several minutes without talking. They just waited for the other to say the cruel word first. Oliver waited for her to say it because he felt like he couldn’t. He couldn’t say it._

_But Felicity stayed silent, taking sniffling breaths, and finally Oliver felt like he couldn’t take it anymore. The longer they would wait, the harder it would be. So they had to do that clean cut Felicity had talked about now before it was getting too hard._

_“Goodbye, Felicity.”_

_“Goodbye, Oliver.”_

_He didn’t want to hear anything more because it would only make the pain worse, so Oliver hung up the phone before anything more could have been said._

_It was over. Felicity and he were not together anymore. He had known that it was going to happen. Missing it had actually been impossible. Yet he hadn’t been prepared._

_Groaning loudly, he threw the phone against the wall, and it broke into a bunch of pieces on the floor. He turned around, putting his hands on the top of his desk and letting his head hang between his shoulders._

_It really was over._

_“Hey, man, everything alright?” Tommy asked, sticking his head in the door._

_“Not really,” Oliver replied, not looking at his friend._

_“Felicity?”_

_“Who else?”_

_Tommy knew how hard it had been for Oliver and Felicity lately. He hadn’t missed how his friend had taken a pass on every party because he just hadn’t felt like partying. Tommy also hadn’t missed how Oliver had glanced at his phone every few minutes waiting for another message, another phone call, another something from Felicity._

_“Want to grab a drink and tell me?”_

_“How about we grab a drink and don’t talk about it?”_

_“Yeah, that sounds like an even better idea,” Tommy agreed._

 

 

He had never really stopped loving Felicity.

With time he had thought less and less about her until she had almost been completely banished from his mind, and finally there had been only a few occasions each year that he had still thought about her. But that hadn’t meant that he had stopped loving her because he really hadn’t. He had thought he had, but the truth was that he hadn’t.

Before that high-school reunion Oliver had wondered if maybe he had only been in love with the memory he had of her, but once he had come face to face with her, he knew. No, it wasn’t the memory he had of her that he was in love with. It was all he knew about her. She had worked like hell to build her own company, and she was still blushing and babbling, so… it was more than just her memory that he loved.

Deep down he had always known that he had never stopped loving her. If there had been a better chance during the reunion or the day after, Oliver was sure that he would have tried to see if they still had a chance of something. That is if he had been brave enough to try it.

“You will regret it for the rest of your life if you don’t even try,” Thea added after a while. “If it doesn’t work, it doesn’t work. But if you don’t find out, that possibility will forever be stuck in your mind.”

Oliver sighed, tightening his arms around his sister. “When did you get so mature?”

Thea chuckled. “A while ago, I guess.”

“Yeah, probably,” Oliver said with a sigh.

He kissed the top of his little sister’s head and stepped out of the hug to turn around to Lily.

“Hey, sweetheart?”

Immediately Lily interrupted her song which had turned into _Let It Go_ again at some point during Oliver’s conversation with Thea. She let the blue colored pencil hover half an inch over her sheet to look at her father without messing up her drawing.

“Yes, Daddy?”

“How would you feel about a little trip to Central City?”

“Can I take my Olaf with me?” she asked, pointing to the plush version of Frozen’s magical snowman on the chair next to her.

“Sure.”

“Okay!” she answered, dropping the pencil to the table and jumping from her chair. She grabbed her Olaf and ran out of the kitchen, only shouting back over her shoulder, “I’ll pack my bag!”

Oliver sighed, sending a short prayer to heaven that he wasn’t going to regret this decision. What would happen if it didn’t work at all and whatever hope he still had were forever destroyed. He wasn’t sure he could take it. He had been in love with Felicity for too long.


	4. Chapter 4

Strolling towards the door to leave her office, Felicity took another look into her purse to make sure she really had everything she needed to get home without having to return to her office, like she did a few days ago.

“Keys - check,” she mumbled to herself, rummaging around in her purse a little. “Wallet - check. Files to take a look at in case I can’t sleep - check. Time to go home.”

She switched off the light and closed the door behind her, yawning tiredly. She had taken a few steps when she heard the _pling!_ of the elevator, and with another yawn Felicity thought that this had to be her lucky day. Sad, when not having wait for the elevator was what made her day, she thought a little bitterly but shook the thought off with a shake of her head.

“Princess Felicity!”

Felicity looked up just in time to see Lily running out of the elevator and right towards her. For a short moment she thought the little girl was going to throw herself at her, but then she stopped like two inches away.

“Hi,” Felicity said with a frown, taken by surprise. She looked towards the elevators, but the doors had already closed. “What are you doing here?”

“Seeing you,” Lily answered. “Can I try on your shoes now?”

“Maybe later,” Felicity answered, her frown deepening. “Lily, where is your daddy?”

“Downstairs. He wanted us to come here together, but he took so long. He talked to the man in the big room, and I was bored. So I came here already. Can I try on your shoes when we grab dinner? They are sparkling like the last ones, but these are more pretty. I have the prettiest of all shoes, though.” Lily talked without making a pause. Felicity almost felt like she had a mini version of herself in front of her, given that she was usually the one to babble about everything that came to her mind. “My shoes are pink with colored flowers. Daddy says I didn’t need them, but Aunt Thea bought them for me anyway. I wanted to wear them today, so I can show them to you, but Daddy forgot them at home. I cried a little because of that, but only a little. I am a big girl, so I don’t cry that much anymore and-”

Felicity tried to follow Lily’s thoughts, but she was so tired that she felt like she could barely keep up with the girl’s mental leaps. At least now she knew that Oliver had to be somewhere in the building, too, and Lily had probably run off. It wasn’t the first time since she had gotten to know her, was it?

“Come on, sweetie,” Felicity said, holding out her hand for Lily. The blonde girl put her little fingers in Felicity’s hand and let herself be led back to the elevators. “I am sure your daddy is already worrying because you ran away again.”

“But I haven’t talked to strangers. I only talked to you,” Lily said, smiling proudly.

Felicity shook her head, breathing out a low chuckle. She loved Lily’s logic. Poor Oliver certainly had both of his hands full with her.

Oliver... Felicity thought after a while. He was here, not only in Central City but in the building of her company. What was he doing here? Had he come here because of her? Or-?

Her thoughts came to a sudden stop when the doors of the elevator opened once more, and Oliver stood only a couple feet away from her. He looked even better than during the weekend of their class reunion. With the dark leather jacket and the grey henley, his broad chest was accentuated in the best way.

Oliver’s eyes flickered to Lily for a short moment, making the girl giggle and hide slightly behind Felicity, while squeezing her hand a little more tightly.

“Hi,” Oliver finally said to Felicity before he stepped forward and kissed Felicity’s cheek. His stubble scratched her soft skin, making a warm shiver run down the length of her spine. “I see Lily found you already.”

Again Lily giggled, leaning her head against Felicity’s side and looking up at her dad with angel’s eyes. “Felicity has nice shoes, doesn’t she?”

Oliver lowered his gaze to Felicity’s feet. “Wow! I don’t think I have ever seen so pretty shoes! Have you, Lily?”

“Yes!” she exclaimed. “My pink shoes with the flowers!”

“Oh right, they were really pretty, too,” Oliver agreed and winked at his daughter before he looked back at Felicity again without saying anything.

Felicity felt her heartbeat quickening at the way he looked at her. His gaze seemed to burn right under her skin, making her body tingle. From the way she felt warmth spread from her cheeks down her neck, she was sure that it made her blush.

“So… what are you doing here?” she finally asked.

“Well, I was planning on waiting for you at your home,” Oliver answered, massaging the back of his neck with one hand like he felt uncomfortable, “but then one of your really friendly neighbors told me that you always work late, so I thought I should come here and try to catch you before you leave.”

A neighbor had told him? He had been at her home? With Lily? How did he know where she lived? Stupid question! She had given Thea her address, so she had probably given it to her brother.

“Catch me for what?”

“I-”

“Daddy?” Lily asked, calling the attention of both adults. “I am hungry.”

“Well, I guess it’s time your daddy buys you dinner then,” Felicity stated.

She lifted Lily’s hand she still held in hers towards Oliver, and he replaced her hand with his own. His fingers brushed against Felicity’s skin when he did so, and for a short second she wondered if he had done it on purpose. She hastily shook that thought off, though.

“It was nice seeing you two again,” she said. “I’ll lead you to the doors and-”

“Do you want to come to dinner with us?”

Felicity looked down at Lily, biting down on her bottom lip. As much as Lily seemed to like her or at least her shoes, Felicity wasn’t sure if it was a good idea to have dinner with them. She realized that it was weird feeling that way, given that she had already had breakfast with them, but it had been different then. With Thea being there, it had just been… different.

“Oh, I don’t know. I-”

“Please?” Lily asked, looking up at Felicity with just the same angel’s eyes she had given her father when he had talked to her about running away again.

Wow! How did Oliver ever say no to her?

“O- okay,” Felicity said hesitantly before smiling. “I think I know the perfect place for that.”

“Lead the way,” Oliver asked, gesturing towards the elevator. After pushing a button to get the doors to open, they all stepped into the small cabin together.

Felicity still wasn’t sure if this was a good idea, though she was happy that apparently both Oliver and Lily wanted her to join them during dinner. It was just still a little… weird.

“Felicity?”

“Yes, Lily?”

“Can I try on your shoes during dinner?”

 

 

_She had been stupid which wasn’t something Felicity would usually say about herself given that she was actually kind of really smart. She was so smart that she had been a straight-A student all her life, and she had finished high school faster than one usually did. So since there was proof that she really was smart, maybe cowardly was the better word to describe what she had been. It just sounded even worse in her head, though. Well, who likes to admit that she’s been a coward?_

_Felicity had been, though. Deep inside she really believed that she had been a coward. She had been scared that if they carried on their long-distance relationship any longer, Oliver would break up with her or even worse he would fall back into old habits  from earlier relationships and maybe cheat on her. She had also known that she wouldn’t be able to handle that at all. So she had taken what had seemed like the easy way out and had broken up with him before he could break her heart._

_All the time she had been silently begging him to tell her that he didn’t care whether or not she believed they would make it because he believed it for the both of them. He hadn’t said it, though._

_What Felicity had thought was the easiest way out of their messy situation really hadn’t made anything better. She missed Oliver just as much as when they had still been together. Only now Felicity felt a terrible stitch in her heart whenever she thought about him, knowing that they weren’t together anymore._

_So here she was now, three weeks after their heart-wrenching breakup phone call, trying to think what words she could use to ask Oliver to take her back. She wanted them to try the long-distance relationship once more. She had taken all the money she had saved and booked a flight. She had somehow managed to get from the airport to Oliver’s residence hall without having to pay too much money. Now she just needed to find the right words and, well, gather her courage to knock on his door._

_She could tell him how sorry she was for not believing in their relationship enough and for not trying harder to make it work. She could tell him that she still loved him, and she had never doubted her feelings for him. She could tell him a lot of things, and they would all be true._

_She just…_

_Felicity squeezed her eyes shut, releasing a groan and shaking her head._

_She just wasn’t sure if any of the words she could think of would be good enough to convince Oliver that she really wanted another chance, and this was more than a spontaneous idea. She needed him to know that she wouldn’t break up with him again as soon as she was back in Boston. She just wasn’t sure if any words were good enough to assure him of that._

_Sighing, Felicity straightened her shoulders and took in a deep breath._

_It wouldn’t matter what words she prepared to say to him anyway because she knew her brain-to-mouth-filter well enough to know that it would come up with something completely different to say the second she saw him._

_She would do it. She would just knock at his door, tell him whatever came to her mind and hope that it would be enough.  Maybe not enough make him forgive her right away but at least give her another chance. That was what she really wanted. She wanted another chance to prove that she believed in their relationship._

_Opening her eyes, Felicity stepped forward. She had been standing a little aside, so in case Oliver would look out of the window or come home, he wouldn’t see her before she had figured out what to say. She had just taken two steps when-_

_“Ollie!”_

_Felicity stood still, turning her head to the direction the voice had come from. She saw a blonde girl with long legs and model-like measures giggling and screeching while she was being carried to the residence hall by none other than Oliver, smiling, laughing and making faces at the blonde in his arms._

_“Hey, I told you I could carry you!”_

_“What if someone sees this?”_

_“So?”_

_“You just love showing off how strong you are, don’t you?”_

_“Well, -”_

_When the two of them came closer to the residence hall, Felicity hastily took some steps back, making sure she couldn’t be seen but still able to watch them._

_“Come on, Ollie! Let me down!”_

_“Nope,” Oliver replied with an amused chuckle, adjusting the blonde’s position in his arms to grab his keys from the pocket of his jacket and unlocking the door._

_“Ollie!” the girl screeched again, so loudly this time that Felicity felt almost deafened for a few seconds and wondered if it would be permanent for Oliver since she must have screeched right into his ear._

_Felicity watched Oliver letting the girl down on the floor. The blonde wrapped her arms around his middle like a constrictor wrapped itself around its victim’s neck. She leaned back in his arms, so the lower part of her body pressed against Oliver’s, while her boobs only touched his chest slightly, probably giving him a perfect view into the deep neckline of her top._

_While the blonde was talking too softly for her to understand, Felicity turned her attention to Oliver, looking at him closely. She couldn’t see him well enough to really see everything, but she could see that he was looking at the blonde model girl with a smile. It wasn’t like that one smile he had always saved for her. When they had been together, he had had that special smile only for her. Nobody else had been smiled at like she had by him. Felicity felt some form of weird pride that Oliver wasn’t looking at another girl with that special smile now that they had broken up._

_The blonde didn’t get his smile, and still Felicity felt a terrible stitch of jealousy._

_She knew she had no right to be jealous. She had broken up with Oliver. So Oliver obviously flirting with that model-like girl was nothing she should be jealous about. They weren’t together anymore. He wasn’t cheating on her._

_Felicity still loved him, though. She had come here to start all over again and not lose him forever and now-_

_When the blonde straightened up onto the tip of her toes and pressed her lips to Oliver’s, and he returned the kiss, sneaking his arms around her waist, Felicity hastily turned around and walked away quickly._

_She didn’t want to see that._

_She had come here to ask Oliver for another chance, but obviously she had been too late. Oliver had moved on. He had moved on from her and was now trying to build something with someone who didn’t live on the other side of the country._

_It was a good thing, wasn’t it? It was what people should do - move on._

_Felicity knew she had no right to barge into what Oliver had built after she had broken up with him. It wouldn’t be fair to take something away from him that had a much better chance to work._

_She had made a decision. Oliver had made his. Now she had to live with it._

_Felicity tried to ignore the burning in her throat when tears sprang to her eyes. Continuing  to walk away, Felicity tried to take deep breaths to calm herself down and not start crying, but she couldn’t hold the tears back for too long._

_In her mind the same words echoed through her mind over and over again._

_She had made a decision. Oliver had made his. Now she had to live with it._

 

 

“And do you have blue ones?”

“I have blue ones, too.”

“And green ones?”

“Yes, I also have green ones.”

“And ones with a bow on them?”

“I don’t have those, but I do have shoes with pandas on them.”

“And do you-”

“Lily,” Oliver interrupted his daughter’s hundredth question about Felicity’s shoes with a gentle smile, putting his hand to the top of Lily’s head and mussing up her blonde hair a little, “let’s give Felicity a little rest from all the questions, okay?”

“Okay,” Lily said with a slightly disappointed sigh.

Oliver watched the little girl take her glass into both hands and down half of the lemonade in one go like she had just run a marathon. Given that she had actually bombarded Felicity with questions about her shoes since she had finished eating, she probably felt like having run a marathon indeed.

From the corner of his eyes Oliver shot Felicity a look. She was watching Lily with a content smile while pushing the last of her French fries into her mouth. She had been really good with Lily’s questions, answering all of them in a natural way that made it seem like she had known Lily forever. So he had been right about coming here. It hadn’t been a mistake, at least not yet.

They still hadn’t talked about why he had come here. With all of Lily’s questions, there hadn’t been any time. Oliver knew that he had to tell her, though. He wanted to tell her. He just didn’t necessarily want Lily to hear all of this. So maybe taking her with him hadn’t been the smartest idea, but then again he didn’t know what else he should have done with her. He didn’t want her to think that him getting closer to a woman meant that she had any less importance in his life.

All of this really wasn’t easy.

When Felicity’s gaze met his, he hastily smiled at her and looked away, wondering if he was blushing. God, he hadn’t blushed since high school, but since becoming reaquainted with Felicity, it was happening over and over again. Of course _she_ managed to make his face turn red and make him feel like a little school boy. Who would if it wasn’t her?

“Lily?”

“Yes?”

“Do you want to listen to an audiobook and color in your coloring book?”

“But I am not allowed to during dinner.”

“Well, dinner’s over already, right?” Oliver asked back, winking at her.

Lily giggled amusedly before she looked at Felicity and asked her, “Do you want to draw, too?”

“Oh, I think I’d rather talk to your daddy,” Felicity replied with a smile, “but thank you for the offer.”

Oliver handed Lily her coloring book and the pens. While he was setting up his phone for Lily to listen to an audiobook over her pink children’s headphones, he heard Lily say, “I just put the pens in the middle, Felicity, okay? So when talking to Daddy gets boring, you can use them.”

Felicity chuckled, trying to keep herself from bursting out into loud laughter at Lily’s words. “That’s really nice of you.”

Lily shrugged her shoulders. “Daddy doesn’t talk much, so-”

“Okay, the audiobook is ready,” Oliver interrupted Lily, putting the headphones on her before she could say anything more, and immediately his bubbly, little girl took a pen and started coloring, not minding him or Felicity anymore.

Oliver took in a deep breath, gathering his courage to turn in his seat and look at Felicity. She had her arms crossed on the edge of the table and looked at him with a slightly nervous smile. Well, at least that meant he wasn’t the only one being nervous.

“So I guess your daughter doesn’t have much trust in your ability to do the talking?”

Oliver chuckled. “No, she doesn’t, but that’s only because usually she does the talking for two people, so I don’t get the chance to speak. But who am I telling that to? You always talked for two people, too.”

“That’s not true!” Felicity exclaimed though the amused smile gave away that she knew exactly that he was right. Shaking her head, she finally added, “Well, maybe it is, but I am way better at listening now, so maybe you want to tell me what you are doing in Central City.”

Right to the topic, Oliver thought. He felt his heartbeat quicken due to his nervousness. On his way to Central City he had thought over and over again about what exactly to say to her. He knew that this was basically his last chance. Though he still feared that maybe Felicity would reject him, he knew living in the unknown for the rest of his life would be worse.

It was now or never. Either they had another chance, or it would be over forever.

“I-” Oliver started, clearing his throat when he noticed that he sounded terribly husky because of a lump in his throat. “I didn’t want to make the same mistake I did last time when we both left Star City.”

Oliver watched Felicity’s face closely, trying to find any sign of emotional reaction about his words in her face, but the only thing he found was confusion.

“What-?”

“The last time we both left Star City I didn’t fight enough,” he explained. “I… Well, I thought we were too young, and I… uhm… I think I was scared. I was scared because I was already so in love with you, and…”

Oliver shook his head, lowering his gaze to the tablecloth. He wasn’t good at expressing how he felt. He had never been good at that, so he didn’t finish his sentence, leaving it as it was, and actually he felt that it was the truest this way. He still didn’t really know why he hadn’t fought more for them ten years back. He had told himself that he hadn’t fought because he should respect Felicity’s decision, but…

Taking in another deep breath, Oliver looked back up at Felicity, finding her looking at him already with her front teeth buried in her bottom lip. He reached out his hand and freed her lip with a swipe of his thumb like it was the most natural thing in the world.

“I should have traveled after you,” Oliver whispered, looking at Felicity intensely and hence not missing how she held her breath. “Ten years back I should have come to Boston and convinced you to not give up on us and to hold on with me until I could find a way, despite the distance between us, to make it work…  but I didn’t. And I regretted it every single day since because I should have-”

“I came to Coast City three weeks after we broke up,” Felicity suddenly interrupted him.

Oliver fell silent immediately. Now it was his turn to hold his breath, looking at her tensely.

She had been in Coast City? Three weeks after their breakup? Why didn’t he know about that? Why hadn’t she come to him? Why-?

“I came to Coast City three weeks after we broke up,” Felicity repeated. “I wanted to take back the breakup and, like you said, ask you to hold on with me until _I_ could find a way to make it work despite the distance between us.”

Oliver frowned even more. “Why didn’t you-? Why didn’t-? Why don’t I know about that?”

“Because I left before you saw me,” Felicity replied quietly, “I was in front of your residence hall, and I was trying to figure out what to say to you. Then I saw you... with a girl.”

She said the last three words slowly, and as soon as the last syllable had fallen from her lips, she hastily lifted her glass to her lips and took a sip, avoiding his gaze. Oliver never took his eyes off her, processing her words in the meantime.

“Felicity, I’m so so-”

“You don’t have any reason to apologize,” Felicity interrupted him hastily, holding her hands in front of her to make him stop. “I broke up with you. You had the right to move on. I just felt it wouldn’t be fair to keep you from that just because I changed my mind again, and-”

“But I didn’t move on,” Oliver interrupted her now. He knew exactly what she was referring to because three weeks after their breakup, he had tried his first attempt to move on from her. He had failed miserably. “Nothing happened between me and… that girl. I don’t even remember her name.”

How could have something happened between them? Sure, the girl had been pretty, but she had one failure that Oliver hadn’t been able to ignore -- She wasn’t Felicity.

 

 

_Why didn’t this feel right? Why didn’t he feel that flutter in his stomach or that tingling of his skin? Why didn’t he feel any of the things he had grown to love about kissing?_

_The answer was simple. The blonde girl in his arms -- whose name he had actually forgotten already -- wasn’t Felicity._

_Maybe he should just try a little harder, Oliver thought. He tightened his arms around her waist, pulling her closer to his chest while simultaneously pressing her back against the door. He deepened the kiss, slipping his tongue into her mouth, and she moaned. She was a good kisser, a really good one actually. Oliver just couldn’t really focus on the kiss or enjoy it for that matter._

_He had thought his plan was s simple and foolproof. He had wanted to pick up a random girl, take her home and have meaningless sex with her. He had done that before he had fallen in love with Felicity, so going back to that now seemed to make sense._

_Why couldn’t it be as simple as that? Why couldn’t he just go back to living the life he had had before Felicity and find the same satisfaction he had found before? Why did it have to be complicated?_

_Since they had separated at the Star City Airport, he had missed her like crazy. It had only gotten worse since they had broken up. He had found himself about to book a flight to Boston at least ten times. He had stopped himself from doing so every time, though. He had decided to accept Felicity’s decision to break up with him, and he was going to stick with that now._

_“Hey, you’re still with me, Ollie?”_

_Oliver took a step back, distancing himself from the blonde girl in front of him. She leaned against the door, slightly out of breath because of their kiss. He watched her for a moment, and thought the same thing he had been thinking when he had first seen her: she looked like Felicity, but more the type of girl he dated before he had fallen in love with Felicity._

_“I’m sorry,” he said, moving his hand through his short hair. “I’m… uh… I can’t do this.”_

_“What are you talking about, Ollie?” the blonde laughed._

_She grabbed the lapels of his leather jacket and tried to pull him back against her, but Oliver loosened her fingers from his clothes and gently pushed her hands back to her chest. The blonde girl looked surprised and maybe even a little bit hurt._

_“I really can’t do this,” he stated again, more firmly than before._

_The blonde girl - he really regretted not having paid enough attention to remember her name - frowned. She eyed him up for a long moment._

_“What? You have a girlfriend?”_

_Oliver lowered his gaze._

_“Oh my god! You really have a girlfriend!”_

_“No,” Oliver said hastily. He didn’t dare to look up at her. Instead he just whispered, “I wish I had, though.”_

_The girl sighed. “Why do I always get the guys who are actually in love with someone else?”_

_Oliver bit his tongue. He felt horrible. He shouldn’t have picked her up and taken her here. He should have known he just wasn’t ready to move on from Felicity. It hadn’t been fair to just pick up a girl to get rid of his heartache._

_“I’m sorry,” he repeated._

_“Yeah, you said that already.”_

_She had every right to be pissed at him, Oliver thought. He pushed his hands into the pockets of his jeans, taking another step back to give her the room to step away from the door a little bit without bumping into him._

_“Should I call you a cab or something?” he asked._

_The girl looked at him for a long moment before she sighed. She cocked her head at him for a moment, just eying him up. It took awhile, but eventually her facial expression softened._

_“You seem like a good guy,” she suddenly said._

_Oliver shrugged his shoulders. “I’m not sure about that.”_

_“Well, neither am I,” she said. “Like I said, you seem to be a good guy, doesn’t mean you are one. Anyway, want some advice? If she doesn’t make you happy, maybe she’s just not worth it.”_

_Oliver had no chance to answer because before he had a moment to think about an appropriate reply, the girl shrugged her shoulders and left._

_Maybe she just wasn’t worth it?_

_God, if somebody was ever worth any heartache, it was probably Felicity, Oliver thought. He knew it sounded dramatic, but it was what he felt. No other girl had ever made him feel the way she had done, so no other girl was worth the pain he had to go through right now._

_Oliver closed his eyes and took in a deep breath. He would get over Felicity sooner or later. He just had to give himself a little more time._

_They were young, and they had been each other’s first love, so of course breaking up had hurt. He had to believe that with time it would get better, though. It wouldn’t take forever, right?_

 

 

Oliver watched Felicity closely while she was trying to process his words and their meaning. At the same time her words echoed in his mind over and over again.

“You really came to Coast City?” Oliver asked, pulling her from her thoughts.

Felicity nodded slowly. “Yeah.”

“And you saw me with that girl?”

Again Felicity nodded. “Yeah.”

“And you thought I had gotten over you already?”

“Or that you were at least trying to,” Felicity answered.

“I was trying to,” Oliver answered honestly, feeling his heart skip a beat when Felicity looked at him with held breath. “I was trying to get over you, but…”

Oliver shook his head, huffing out a laugh. How had he been supposed to be over her? Felicity had been his first love, and he had loved her so damn much. No other girl had compared to her, and she had been all that he had wanted.

“It took a long time until I was able to date anyone else,” he continued after a while, shaking his head once again. “I dated a few girls, but it never felt the same way as it had felt with you. And I do realize that sentence sounded impossibly cheesy. Sorry for that.”

Felicity chuckled and lowered her gaze to her hands on the tabletop, playing with her watch.

“It’s strange, you know?” she asked after a moment, still not looking up. “It was the same for me.”

Oliver’s heartbeat quickened. Since he had received that invitation, he had made up so many scenarios of what could happen, but never in his wildest dreams had he thought about this. Felicity not only had trouble getting over him. She had also come to Coast City to ask him to take her back. Even after she had seen him kissing some other girl, she had still had trouble getting over him.

“You were engaged,” Oliver remembered and hastily added, “I am not judging or anything, but-”

“He was so similar to me, you know?” Felicity interrupted him immediately because she probably understood his need for an explanation. “It felt right to be with him, but we both had to realize that we just didn’t love each other… at least not like that.”

Neither of them had really given up on the other. They had both moved on because you couldn’t spend your life holding onto something you thought was lost, but they hadn’t forgotten what they had had.

“Felicity, I-” Oliver started, breaking off to clear his throat. He moved his hands a little closer to hers without touching her, though. Felicity looked at him, again holding her breath. “I know you are probably not the same person you were ten years ago. _I_ am definitely not the same person I was ten years ago.”

He looked at Lily, who was quietly speaking along to the audio book. If there was one proof that he wasn’t the same guy he had been before, it was her. She had turned his whole life upside down, even more than Felicity had done in high school. When Oliver looked back at Felicity, he saw her looking at Lily with a warm smile that made his stomach flutter contently.

“I don’t want this to be weird or us to stumble into this without second thought or with too high expectations, but-”

“Daddy?”

Oliver bit down on his tongue, keeping himself from groaning. He loved Lily more than anything or anyone, but the little girl had really bad timing right now. Not vocalizing any of that, Oliver turned his head and smiled at his daughter, who had taken off the headphones and was was now looking at him.

“What’s wrong, sweetie?”

“I’m tired,” she stated.

Oliver glanced at his watch. It was already past her official  bedtime, but not even near when she usually went to sleep. Lily was a little troublemaker when it came to going to bed. She usually didn’t fall asleep before eleven p.m. The travel must have tired her out, though. She really looked tired.

“I think you should go back to the hotel and put her to bed,” Felicity suggested quietly.

Oliver looked at her shortly. He could have easily have mistaken her smile to be honest, but he didn’t miss the sad expression behind the smile. He bit down on his tongue again, looking back at Lily. He knew he needed to talk to Felicity. He wanted to talk to Felicity. He just couldn’t let his daughter fall asleep here.

“Okay,” Oliver replied with a gentle smile. “I’ll pay the bill-”

“No way!” Felicity interrupted him. “You’re my guests, and don’t even try to fight me on that. Central City is my city, so I’ll pay the bill.”

Oliver smiled. “Thank you, Felicity.”

“You’re welcome,” she replied, winking at Lily, and the young girl giggled.

When he had packed Lily’s pencils and her other stuff, Oliver pulled his daughter onto his lap. She melted against him with a tired yawn. Chuckling, Oliver tightened his arms around her and pressed a kiss to the crown of her head.

“I have actually been about to say something more,” Oliver explained to Felicity, resting his chin on the top of Lily’s head. “Sorry.”

“Don’t be,” Felicity replied, shrugging her shoulders. “I am sure you will get the chance to tell me anyway. I mean if you want to.”

“I would love to,” Oliver replied immediately. How could she have any doubt about that? “Would that be okay? If we would see each other again?”

“Sure,” Felicity replied with a smile.

“Tomorrow?” they suggested in chorus and after a short moment of just looking at each other they both started laughing.

So he wasn’t the only one being a little impatient about seeing each other again, Oliver thought and felt some of the tension falling off of him.

“You don’t mind if I bring Lily, right?” he asked, looking at his daughter, who had already fallen asleep in his arms. “I wouldn’t know where-”

“Of course you bring Lily,” Felicity interrupted him. “She is part of your life, Oliver. Central City has beautiful parks for children.”

“Lily will like that,” Oliver said and smiled. He knew he and Felicity had a lot to talk about. Since she seemed to still have feelings for him like he still had feelings for her and since she had accepted Lily, the most important hurdles were already cleared.

“So tomorrow?”

“Tomorrow,” Felicity nodded. “Do you want me to give you my number, so-?”

“I will just text Thea and ask her to give me yours if you don’t mind,” Oliver explained hastily. “I need to go to the hotel, and-”

“No, no problem! Put her to bed.”

Oliver tightened his arms around Lily, holding her in his arms when he got up.

“Thanks again for treating us to dinner,” he said, adjusting Lily’s position in his arms, so her head rested against his shoulder safely.

“You are very welcome,” Felicity replied. She got up from her chair and stroked her hand over Lily’s back gently. “Night, Lily.”

Oliver watched her closely, and he felt his heart skip a beat when she smiled at him softly.

“Night, Oliver,” she said.

For a short second, Oliver wondered what to do. He didn’t just want to tell her goodnight and leave. With Lily sleeping in his arms it was a little difficult to hug her, though. So keeping Lily’s head against his shoulder, Oliver followed his instincts and leaned forward. Gently he pressed his lips to the corner of Felicity’s mouth, not really meeting her lips but also leaving no doubt that this was more than a kiss to the cheek.

“Night, Felicity,” he whispered with a smile.

For a long moment they just looked at each other without saying anything. As cliché as it sounded, Oliver could look at her like that forever. He could actually get lost in this moment. With Lily in his arms and Felicity smiling at him like that, it was a really memorable moment.

When Lily made a sleepy sound and mumbled something that sounded like “Night, Princess ‘licity”, Felicity and he both chuckled.

“Okay. It seems about time to put that little girl to bed,” he stated. “Night, Felicity.”

“Night, Oliver.”

Smiling at her for only a short moment longer, Oliver turned around and headed to the exit.

Coming to Central City might have been a little crazy, but it had definitely been worth it already.


	5. Chapter 5

“Lily don’t run too far ahead, please!” Oliver shouted after Lily and let out an exhausted sigh when Lily disappeared from their view nonetheless.

“Don’t worry,” Felicity told him, squeezing his hand that was holding hers in a tight yet gentle grip. She rubbed her other hand up and down his bicep calmingly. “The park has great security… Not that security is really needed of course. I guess it’s not helpful to say something like that to a parent. When security is needed, it means there is a reason it is needed after all, and that certainly isn’t anything a parent wants to hear, so-”

“Fe-li-ci-ty.”

The singsong he had always used to say her name still made her stomach feel like there were a thousand little butterflies in there. It also made her shut up effectively. Feeling a deep blush spreading on her face, Felicity bit down on her bottom lip and lowered her gaze to the ground.

When they had met at the park’s fountain, Lily had immediately come to Felicity and hugged her. Her short arms had wrapped around Felicity’s waist tightly, and she had pressed her head to Felicity’s  stomach like she had wanted to melt her face with it. Felicity had barely gotten the chance to say hi to Oliver before Lily had already taken her hand and started to tell her everything that had seemed to have come to her mind.

That girl really seemed to have no trust in her father’s skills of conversation. It had taken almost half an hour before Lily had had enough of talking. She had let go of Oliver’s and Felicity’s hands and started running ahead, exploring the park. Felicity had wanted to push her hand into the pocket of her coat, not knowing what else to do with it. Before she could have done so, Oliver had taken it and entangled their fingers instead. Ever since, they were strolling through the park behind Lily, holding hands and barely saying anything.

It was almost weird how comfortable the silence between them was, Felicity thought. Usually she didn’t handle quietness well. She usually started babbling. Not with Oliver, though. With him by her side, she could accept, even enjoy, the silence.

“I was awake all night,” Oliver told her quietly after a while. “I was thinking about what you told me yesterday.”

She looked at Oliver. His eyes were focussed on Lily in the near distance, but Felicity felt like the smile that was playing around the corners of his lips was directed at her. He looked content and happy, making her smile too. She didn’t know why seeing Oliver like this felt so good. It wasn’t like she had seen him unhappy often. Maybe knowing that she was part of the reason for his happiness was what made it mean so much to her.

Oliver shook his head and chuckled. “We were so stupid, weren’t we?”

“For thinking the other was already over the breakup?” Felicity asked with a sigh. “Yes, a little.”

“If one of us had put just a little more effort into getting back together again, it might have worked. We might have been together again. And who knows? Maybe we’d still be together now.”

“Yes,” Felicity said, sighing once more. “We were young, though. Maybe even too young. And we might have been a little too crazy about each other too.”

“I don’t think there is a way to be too crazy about you,” Oliver replied seriously shaking his head. “It’s like loving chocolate too much. It’s just not possible.”

Felicity chuckled. “Cute.”

They kept walking slowly, again not saying anything for awhile. Felicity thought about her own words, realizing how true they were. When did a first love ever continue on after high school or college? They couldn’t have known that they continue having feelings for each other. They couldn’t have known that they were the exception, the one couple that would still love each other after the end of high school and college.

Well, who knew if they would still be together if that stupid misunderstanding hadn’t happened? There were so many things that could have made them break up after all. Relationships weren’t easy, and sometimes loving each other just wasn’t enough.

“I don’t think we should regret what happened, though,” Felicity finally said out loud.

Oliver turned his eyes from Lily to Felicity, perking up his eyebrows in question.

“Like I said we were young, and maybe our relationship wouldn’t have made it. We were living so far away from each other. I am sure we might have regretted if we had held onto something that made both of us feel so miserable,” Felicity explained, and Oliver nodded slowly, lowering his gaze to the floor. “Besides, you probably wouldn’t have Lily.”

“She’s the best thing that came from our breakup even if she is not a direct result of it.”

Felicity smiled, her eyes following Oliver’s gaze to his daughter. The little girl had left the path through the park and started playing on one of the playgrounds. Oliver and Felicity stayed standing at the edge of the sand pit, watching her playing. After a while Felicity turned her eyes to Oliver, though, watching him looking at his daughter. She doubted that she’d ever get tired of the loving expression in his eyes.

“I can’t imagine my life without her,” Oliver stated, probably noticing her gaze on his skin. “So I guess you’re right. We shouldn’t regret what happened. It lead us right here to this moment.”

“Yeah,” Felicity whispered with a smile.

Lily seemed to enjoy playing with the other kids a lot, so Oliver nodded towards a bench at the side of the playground. They sat down there, still watching Lily. Their entangled hands rested on Oliver’s lower thigh. The sides of their bodies were touching slightly, and after a short moment of hesitation Felicity rested her head on Oliver’s shoulder. She smiled when she felt his cheek snuggling up to the crown of her head.

“This is nice, you know?” Felicity asked with a content sigh. “The three of us spending time together like this. I like that.”

“So do I,” Oliver replied, squeezing her hand.

It was almost weird how natural this felt to her, Felicity thought. Even when she had been engaged, she had never been able to see herself like this. She had lain awake for nights, trying to picture herself on a lazy Sunday with her fiancé and the kids she had thought they would have one day. She just hadn’t been able to see herself in that scenario. Sitting here now, holding hands with Oliver and watching Lily, she didn’t need to wonder why anymore. She hadn’t been able to picture herself like that because she had tried to see herself with the wrong person.

As terribly kitschy as it sounded, it should have always been Oliver.

“Do you think we could do this more often?” Oliver asked quietly.

Felicity didn’t miss the insecurity in his voice, so she turned her head to rest her chin on his shoulder and looked at him. His eyes were still focussed on Lily, but the relaxed expression on his face had disappeared. Instead he was frowning now.

“Spending time with you?” she asked back.

“Yes,” Oliver replied, not looking at her, “with the both of us. Lily and me.”

It took a moment longer before Oliver turned his head and looked at her. His frown seemed to have deepened, so Felicity reached out her fingers and smoothed out the wrinkles on his forehead with the tips of her fingers.

“Like I said before, I really enjoy this.”

“You enjoy this right now, but will you still do so when we’ve done this… I don’t know… for several months in a row?” Oliver asked. He took in a deep breath before he sighed. “I just… Lily changed my whole life. If you become a part of my life in more than just my memories, you will also become a part of Lily’s life. That will… It won’t be easy because I am a single dad. I have all the responsibility for her, and I can’t-”

“Hey,” Felicity interrupted him gently the same way he would do if she babbled. “I grew up as a child raised by a single parent. I know it’s not easy. I also know that your child has to come first. I know that, and I accept that.”

Oliver took in a deep breath. “Are you sure? I know it’s a lot to ask, and-”

“I like Lily,” Felicity interrupted him once more, watching Lily climbing up the latter to the slide. “She is really lovely.”

When Lily had reached the head of the ladder, she raised her hand and waved at them. Felicity waved back, smiling at the little girl. She watched Lily slide down and winked at her when the blonde girl sought out Felicity’s gaze once her feet were back on the sand.

Lily really was a lovely girl. Felicity felt like she could easily get used to seeing her more often.

She remembered how, when she had been a little girl herself, she had disliked most of the guys her mother had brought home. The relationships had never lasted long, and Felicity was actually sure that her reaction to the guys had been part of the reason. You couldn’t build a serious relationship with someone whose child didn’t like you. At least it wouldn’t be easy.

Felicity straightened up at the thought, biting down on her bottom lip. Until now she had only thought about the possible struggles when she didn’t get along with Lily or the way she and Oliver would be influenced by her. The real question wasn’t if she didn’t get along with Lily, though. There was something much more important because all her understanding for the situation wouldn’t be enough if-

“Do you think she likes me?”

“Who? Lily?”

“Yes,” Felicity replied. “I mean… she seems lovely, but of course you know her so much better than I do. What if I completely misread her behavior, and she actually doesn’t like me? All of this would be a terrible mistake. I don’t want to put her in the situation where she has to demand a choice between me and her from you. Neither do I want to put you in the situation where you have to make that kind of choice and-”

“Felicity, breathe,” Oliver said with a low chuckle, squeezing her hand. He waited until she took in a deep breath before he added, “Lily adores you.”

Felicity looked at Oliver for a long moment, searching for any kind of doubt in his blue eyes. He seemed to be sure that he was right, though. No matter how long she looked at him, he didn’t blink or lower his gaze or show any other sign of dishonesty. Felicity took in a deep breath before sighing in relief.

“Thank you,” she said.

“For what?”

“For thinking that way,” Felicity replied. “I mean… you probably know your daughter better than anyone else, and if you think that she likes me-”

“She adores you, Felicity,” Oliver repeated his words of before. “You might just have to let her try on your shoes sooner or later.”

Felicity chuckled. “She can try on all my shoes it that is what it takes to win her heart.”

“I think you won that already, Princess Felicity.”

Felicity chuckled once more. “It’s kind of sweet that she calls me that.”

“And it’s an honor,” Oliver added. “Only the most beautiful women can be princesses.”

Felicity looked at Oliver intensely, and she forced herself to keep her eyes on him even though she felt a blush spreading all over her face. Hearing him say she was beautiful, as casually as he had tried to make it sound, made her breath get caught in her throat and her heart beating quickly against her ribs.

“Don’t you think it will be different when I am there more often, though?”

“I don’t know,” Oliver replied. “I think we will have to wait and see how she reacts. I guess at first she might have trouble adjusting to the situation when it becomes a more permanent one, but… that’s normal, isn’t it? She will just need some time. We all will need some time, so we will have to be careful. It’s a sensitive situation.”

Felicity nodded slowly and rested her head back against Oliver’s shoulder with a low sigh.

Oliver was probably right. It was normal for a little girl who never had to share her daddy with another woman to need time when there was suddenly another woman in daddy’s life. Felicity just needed to prepare herself for that and remind herself to be patient.

She frowned. It was so weird to think about all these things. Oliver and she hadn’t really talked about whether they had a future and how it would look like after all. All they had was a shared past that had been ended too soon due to stupid misunderstandings and a still strong chemistry they couldn’t ignore.

“I think instead of worrying about Lily’s possible reaction in the future, we should talk about the problems we do have already,” Oliver said.

Felicity lifted her head from his shoulder to look at him in question. Talking about problems really wasn’t a good start for whatever they had.

“I just think that there is one very important thing that we should talk about first,” Oliver added slowly when he noticed Felicity’s hesitation. “And that’s our living arrangements. We still live miles apart from one another, and now we have so many more responsibilities at home. I have Lily, and you have your company. It’s so much more difficult than it had been during college. I guess we just need to find some kind of solution we can both live with, right?”

Felicity nodded slowly, unsure what to say.

She didn’t need to say anything at all, though, since Oliver continued after a short moment of silence, “Of course the easiest way to solve that problem would be changing our living arrangements, but I guess that would be the most dras-”

He stopped, eying up Felicity’s face closely. She was sure that her face had given away her reaction to Oliver’s suggestion, but Felicity hadn’t been able to control herself. The way Oliver looked at her and his gaze seemed to burn right under her skin made her bite down on her bottom lip, though. She hadn’t meant to hurt him with her reaction, but given what he had said, even if he hadn’t said it directly, she hadn’t been able to help it.

Had he even listened to himself? Listened what he had just said? Or maybe he hadn’t meant what she had thought he had meant which would mean that it’s wasn’t him who-

“Felicity,” Oliver interrupted her thoughts with quiet voice, making her look at him, “I can almost hear the babbling going on in your head.”

“I’m just…” Felicity started, gesturing with her free hand for a long moment. When she lowered it back to her thigh and looked at Oliver again, she explained, “I don’t know what to say.”

“I’m… sorry,” Oliver said. He lowered his gaze for a moment, looking like the shy school boy he had never been. With a low chuckle he lifted his head only two seconds later, though. “I guess I am a little bit fast, right?”

Felicity squeezed his hand, smiling in relief that he didn’t hold her reaction against her.

“Don’t get me wrong,” she asked when their gazes met. “I am all in with being mature about this and trying to find solutions, so we can make this work… whatever exactly this is, but-”

“Whatever exactly this is?” Oliver repeated her words.

“Well, we haven’t really discussed this yet,” Felicity replied, lowering her gaze to their linked fingers. “I think I have an idea where this might be going, but-”

“A relationship,” Oliver interrupted her quickly, and when she looked at him in surprise, he cleared his throat. He added more calmly, “I’m sorry. I know I shouldn’t interrupt you this often, but I really need to make this clear. I would like for us to try having a relationship again. If you’re up for that.”

How long had she been dreaming about this happening? And how often had she woken up, realizing that it hadn’t been reality?

Felicity smiled at him, feeling her heart beat up into her throat. It made speaking or even breathing hard. The wild beating of her heart didn’t really help with that either.

“I am actually surprised that you didn’t know,” Oliver said after a while. “I thought my intentions were clear already.”

“Oh, they kind of have been,” Felicity replied with a quiet chuckle. “Or at least I thought they were, but then I got insecure and thought I’d better make sure we are on the same page here.”

“And we are?”

“We are,” Felicity confirmed with a nod of her head. She lowered her gaze to their linked fingers once more, enjoying the sight for a long moment, before she looked at him again. “What I was going to say before, by the way, is that I am all in for being mature and responsible, but it’s a little weird for you to suggest moving in together, or at least closer to one another, when you haven’t kissed me in ten years.”

“I really haven’t, have I?” Oliver asked after a pause. “Kiss you, I mean.”

Felicity chuckled, but it turned into a quiet sigh. “No, you haven’t.”

Oliver nodded to himself slowly. Felicity meanwhile lowered her gaze with a smile, feeling warmth spreading on her cheeks when she blushed. Maybe she shouldn’t have said that because it felt a little weird to tell someone that you wanted to be kissed and-

“Let me correct that mistake.”

Felicity lifted her head to look at him. She opened her lips to say something though she wasn’t sure what she should say yet. She didn’t get around to say anything anyway. In one smooth movement, Oliver put his hand to her cheek and leaned forward. His lips brushed against hers once gently before they pressed down a little more firmly. He pulled her bottom lip between his and sucked on it slightly.

Her heart was beating wildly. It pounded against her ribs so firmly that it almost felt like they would crack. Okay, that was probably a little exaggerated, but her heart was definitely not beating at its normal pace or strength. After ten years of missing Oliver and dreaming about kissing him again, her racing heart really wasn’t surprising.

Surprising was that they really were kissing now. After that breakup years ago, the years of silence that followed and all the back and forth of the last few weeks, this really was surprising. There were so many things that could have happened, so many obstacles they could have failed to break, and yet here they were. There were still a lot of things they had to talk about, but right now Felicity just wanted to celebrate this new victory.

Or at least she would celebrate it if her thoughts could keep quiet for just a little bit of time. Instead they were running wild, reminding her of all the things that were still left to discuss for them.She wanted them to start this without any worry being between them, especially so early and-

“Felicity, could you please stop thinking so much while I am kissing you?” Oliver whispered with his lips only a breath away from hers. His thumb moved over her jaw gently.

“Sorry,” Felicity whispered back with a smile. Of course he knew that that she was thinking. “I’m focussed. Just continue.”

Oliver nuzzled her nose shortly before he leaned forward again, kissing her once more. Felicity lifted her hand to his wrist and put her fingers around it. Oliver was right. She shouldn’t think about all the possible problems there could be. Right now all her heart and each of her thoughts should be in this moment because even though there were things they had to discuss, she shouldn’t think about them right now. Their worries and obstacles would still be here when this moment was over.

So right now she just needed to enjoy this, and she did.

“Daddy! Daddy!”

Quickly Felicity pulled back. She licked her lips shortly to savor the taste of Oliver’s. She held her head lowered to hide the smile she couldn’t bite back as well as the deep blush she felt spreading on her face. Because of that, Felicity couldn’t see the little girl running towards her until two short arms wrapped around her neck and her sight was blocked by some curly, blonde hair.

“Hi, sweetie,” Felicity said, rubbing the girl’s back. “Did you have fun playing?”

“Yes.”

“And now you’re done playing?”

“No,” Lily replied, pulling back a little, so she could play with some strands of Felicity’s hair. “I just want to ask Daddy something.”

“What do you want to ask, sweetheart?” Oliver asked.

Lily looked at him for a long moment, still continuing to play with Felicity’s hair, before she asked, “Can we keep Felicity?”

Oliver chuckled. “Lily, Felicity’s not a stray cat we found on the street. She’s a human being. We can’t just decide to keep her.”

“You said we should keep Aunt Thea.”

“Yeah, but she’s Aunt Thea. She doesn’t count,” Oliver replied with a wink.

Lily turned her head to look at Felicity. The girl’s deep blue eyes studied the adult woman’s face closely.

“Felicity, are you marrying Daddy now?”

Felicity perked up her eyebrows in surprise at that questions. “Pardon?”

“Ella-”

“A friend in kindergarten,” Oliver whispered towards Felicity.

“-has only had a mommy. But then her mommy kissed a man. Now they are having a baby and are getting married. They will be together forever. You kissed Daddy. Are you gonna have a baby now too, Felicity? And are you gonna marry Daddy?”

Felicity looked at Lily speechlessly. What was she supposed to say? Lily’s words felt like a talk about the birds and the bees would be necessary. Felicity was really sure that she wasn’t ready to have a talk like that. Besides, this was so not something she should even think about doing!

“Uhm… I- I don’t think- I’m not-” she stammered insecurely, looking at Oliver for help.

“Felicity is not having a baby,” Oliver stated simply, “because babies only come from super-special kisses. And we are not getting married now.”

“Oh,” Lily made, shrugging her shoulders. “Okay.”

Felicity watched Lily’s reaction closely. She couldn’t say if she was disappointed or just didn’t really care. The five-year-old sighed deeply, slowly nodding to herself.

“Are you getting married soon then?” Lily asked. “Not now, but soon?”

Again Oliver chuckled. “You know, Felicity and I will have to find out if we get along together before we should discuss something so serious. That is why I think the wedding will have to wait. At least a little.”

He winked at Lily amusedly, and she giggled in response.

Felicity felt that it was a little weird to listen to Oliver telling his daughter that he might not be thinking about marrying right now, but it was a possibility for the future. It was just weird, especially given that they’ve been together for what? Two minutes?

“Felicity, do you want to marry Daddy some day?” Lily asked.

“You are quite nosy,” Felicity replied with a chuckle.

Lily looked at her, not saying anything. Obviously avoiding the question was not an option here.

“I don’t know yet,” Felicity replied honestly. “Maybe one day. It’s like your daddy said before, We have to discuss a lot before we can even start considering something like that.”

“Do you want to wear a white dress then?”

“Maybe. I haven’t thought about that much.”

“Why?”

“Why what?”

“Why haven’t you thought about that much?”

“I don’t know,” Felicity replied.

She actually wondered why she hadn’t thought about it more. She had been engaged once. She should have thought more about it, but she hadn’t. Sure, she had tried to envision what her wedding dress could look like, but it hadn’t really helped to decide on anything. If she was asked about her wedding preferences now, she was no closer to a definite answer than she had been before her engagement.

“I want a white dress,” Lily told her, “with a wide skirt.”

“It’s always great when you know something like that soon,” Felicity replied.

Lily nodded. “And do you want babies, Felicity?”

“Okay, the interrogation is over for today,” Oliver intervened.

He pulled his daughter in front of him and kissed both of her cheeks, the tip of her nose and her lips before he said, “Go and play a little more. Felicity and I will watch you from here. We have some adult things to discuss.”

“Are you going to propose now?”

Chuckling, Oliver turned Lily back around towards the playground. Playfully slapping her butt he repeated, “Go and play a little more.”

Lily didn’t waste a second or another glance back over her shoulder. Instead she just went running towards the monkey bars to play like her daddy had suggested. Felicity looked after her, shaking her head with a mixture of a smile and a frown.

“Before you say anything,” Oliver quickly said, leaning closer to her and linking their fingers again, “Last year she wanted me to get married to a friend’s mother, and a few months ago she suggested that I should marry her kindergarten teacher. Marrying is not as much of a big deal for her as you might think.”

Felicity chuckled. “So she’s basically just into the idea of you getting married?”

“Yes,” Oliver replied. “And ‘getting married’ really just refers to the wedding part. I don’t think she’s too excited about me or anyone else _being_ married.”

“Thank god, this is not something we have to think about right now,” Felicity stated.

Oliver nodded in agreement. “Right.”

They watched Lily quietly. None of them said a word. When Felicity felt Oliver’s thumb stroking over the back of her hand gently, she rested her head on his shoulder with a sigh. Still neither of them said a word. Until-

“This is not going to be easy.”

“No, it’s not,” Felicity agreed quietly. “I’d still like to give it a try.”

“Yes, absolutely. Just promise me something?”

“This time we won’t give up as easily,” Felicity replied immediately, knowing that this was most likely what Oliver would want her to promise. “We will try to figure things out and try to make it work.”

“And if it won’t work…”

Felicity took in a deep breath. Talking about goodbye when it hadn’t even started yet was weird. Given that there was a child involved in this now, she knew it was important to talk about what would happen if they didn’t make it work, though.

“If we don’t find a way to make it work, we will have to honestly admit that to ourselves.”

Oliver nodded slowly before he sighed and snuggled his cheek to the crown of her head. “Let’s not think about that yet.”

“Yeah,” Felicity replied, closing her eyes. “For now let’s just enjoy that we’ve been given a second chance.”


	6. Chapter 6

_One year later_

“Daddy! Felicity and I did it!”

When he heard Lily running into the kitchen, Oliver turned around from the stove. Without stopping to stir the sauce for the pasta he wanted to serve his two favorite women for dinner, he watched the proud expression on his daughter’s face.

“Felicity and I unpacked the last box! Now it’s really our home!”

Oliver smiled at the happy dance Lily made. She moved the empty moving box -- the one he had complained about when he had stumbled over it this morning -- over her head.

“Well, it was our home before,” Oliver explained, “but at least now it also looks like we’re here to stay and don’t want to move out in a few weeks, right?”

“Right,” Lily confirmed with a nod of her head.

So it had taken six weeks to unpack the last box. Six weeks after they had moved into this sweet, little house, all boxes were finally unpacked. He had lost the bet with himself because he had been sure that his two lovely ladies would need at least six months to unpack their final boxes. The both of them had been very excited about moving in together, but unpacking their boxes hadn’t seemed very appealing to them.

When Felicity stepped into the frame of the door and leaned into it with her arms crossed in front of her chest, Oliver lifted his gaze from his daughter to look at Felicity. He felt his heart skip a beat at the smile on her face. Even after one year of being with her, everything still felt so new.

“Daddy, can we have pizza for dinner?”

“Why would we have pizza for dinner?”

“Because Felicity and I unpacked the last box. It should be a reward.”

If the look Lily shot Felicity was any indication, the two of them had agreed on asking him this before.

“I am already preparing dinner,” Oliver answered. “Pasta with spinach.”

Lily and Felicity both made face, obviously not really happy about his choice. It took a lot for Oliver not to chuckle about the similar expressions in their faces.

“You will like it,” he assured them. “Lily, go wash your hands please and then set the table, okay? Dinner should be ready in a few minutes.”

“Okay,” Lily said, turning around on her heels and walking outside.

Felicity stroked her head over the little girl’s curly hair, whispering, “Hopefully tomorrow.”

Oliver turned back to the stove, adding some spices to the sauce. He knew that Felicity wasn’t too excited about anything that sounded like it could be healthy. And she really was no help trying to get Lily to eat healthy. Well, it was kind of the only complaint he had about her.

Felicity stepped behind him. Her front pressed to his back, and her head came to rest between his shoulderblades. Wrapping her arms around his middle, she stroked her hands up and down his abs and sighed lowly.

“Are you trying to distract me?”

“Distract you?” Felicity asked innocently. “Why would I distract you?”

“I don’t know. Maybe so I will burn the dinner, and you get to order pizza?”

“Would you let yourself be distracted, you super version of a man?”

Oliver let out a breathy love, shaking his head. “Felicity, I love you, but you can cuddle me and sweet-talk to me all you want, dinner will still be pasta with spinach.”

“You are no fun,” Felicity replied pouting.

Sighing, she snuggled her face closer to his back and tightened her arms around his middle. When she let out a low sound of tiredness, Oliver put a hand to hers on his abs. He knew that she had a lot of work to do lately. Not only did she move here, but she also had to move the headquarters of her company here. Luckily, the double burden was over now.

“You know, I still think it’s a little weird we moved here,” Felicity said sleepily like she had read his mind. “When you suggested that we should both move and meet each other halfway, I didn’t think this halfway would be Star City to be honest. It’s probably because Star City is most definitely not in between Central City and Ivy Town, but, well, you’ve never been really good in school, so…”

Chuckling, Oliver turned off the heat of the stove and turned around on his heels towards her. He wrapped his arms around Felicity’s small waist, pulling her against his chest. Their lips met in a long, gentle kiss.

Oliver loved that he could do this every day now. Living so far apart had been crazy. They had tried to see each other as much as possible, but it just hadn’t been enough. Moving in together had been a long overdue, but they had waited so long to make sure Lily really was okay with this. It was actually crazy it had taken so long because Lily loved Felicity with all of her heart.

“Family cuddle!” Lily exclaimed when she came running back to the kitchen, making Oliver and Felicity break their kiss.

She ran towards them quickly, her hands already stretched out for her daddy to lift her from the floor. Oliver did so without hesitation, holding his daughter to his hips. He put his free arm back around Felicity’s shoulders and pulled her into the family hug Lily had suggested.

Family hug, Oliver thought with a content smile. He glanced down at Felicity’s hand on Lily’s back and took in the ring he had put on her finger yesterday. Their anniversary had seemed like the perfect time to finally propose to her. So they really were a family now, and it felt amazing.

“Okay, family hug is over or the dinner is going to get cold,” he said, putting Lily back onto the floor and loosening his arm around Felicity.

“Well, it was worth a try,” Felicity said with a sigh, making Oliver roll his eyes with a breathy chuckle.

When the table was set, they all sat down and started eating. It was the one routine they had set in the six weeks since they had moved into this house. They always had dinner together, and it was homemade as often as possible. Oliver tried to avoid ordering take-out which wasn’t easy because Lily and Felicity tried to do their best to keep him from cooking. They were a cheeky duo, even if not very successful.

“The ring sparkles,” Lily said with a giggle when the light reflected in the diamond.

“It’s because it’s a special ring,” Felicity replied, winking at Lily.

“Will you get another ring for the wedding, too?”

“Of course. And given that you were the one to pick this ring, I’d be very happy if you could help pick the wedding bands, too,” Felicity suggested. “Actually, Daddy and I even discussed getting you a ring too if you like.”

“Really?” Lily asked.

Her eyes widened with joy. She looked from Felicity to her dad and back to Felicity. A bright smile was spreading on her lips.

“If you want to, sure,” Oliver said with a smile. “Would be cool if we all wore rings that linked us together, wouldn’t it?”

“Like a gang!” Lily said with a giggle.

“I’d rather say like a family,” Oliver corrected.

“Gang sounds better,” Felicity whispered to Lily.

“Can we buy the rings tomorrow?”

“Tomorrow?” Oliver asked, frowning. “Why the hurry?”

Lily pushed another fork of pasta into her mouth, chewing quickly. She was already about to speak, her mouth still half-full, but Oliver shook his head. Lily knew she wasn’t supposed to speak with full mouth. She just loved to ignore that because eating and speaking were two of her favorite things to do.

As soon as she had swallowed down her food, Lily said, “We need to have them for the wedding.”

“There is no need to rush the wedding,” Oliver explained.

“Absolutely,” Felicity replied with a nod of her head, looking at Lily. “You know, I would like a winter wedding.”

“Really?” Oliver asked. “I always imagined getting married in spring.”

“I am for a winter wedding!” Lily shouted.

Oliver rolled his eyes with a dramatic sigh. “What did I do to deserve you two teaming up against me all the time?”

“Daddy,” Lily whispered. She held her hand in front of her mouth, so Felicity couldn’t hear her and leaned closer to him. “Winter is closer than spring. If you agree to a winter wedding, you’ll be married sooner.”

When Oliver shot Felicity a quick glance, she bit down on her bottom lip. A barely visible smile was playing around her lips, telling him that she had heard every word Lily had said. She was trying to hide it, so Lily wouldn’t be disappointed, but he could see right through the seemingly casual face she tried to make.

“Thanks for telling me. I would have missed that,” Oliver whispered to Lily. He looked at Felicity, now saying out loud, “I think you’re right. A winter wedding would be much cooler.”

“Glad that we can agree on that,” Felicity told him before winking at Lily.

As far as it was up to Oliver, the sooner he got married to Felicity the better. They had waited so long already.

They continued eating in quiet for some time. Even Lily didn’t say anything. The way her facial expression was changing from time to time, though, told Oliver that his daughter was deep in her thoughts. Smiling, he observed her, wondering what could be going on in that little head of hers.

“Aren’t you hungry anymore?” Oliver asked when Lily put her fork away and leaned back. When Lily shook her head, he added, “Okay, fine. Felicity and I will finish dinner, and then you will go upstairs and get ready for bed.”

Lily nodded, her gaze focussed on her plate. Oliver glanced at Felicity, who seemed to find Lily’s behavior just as strange as he did. She was watching the little girl with a frown.

“Lily, everything alright?” she asked.

Lily looked up at the plate, turning her eyes to Felicity. “Felicity?”

“Yes, hon?”

“When do I get a brother or sister?”

Felicity, who had just raised her glass to her lips, almost choked on her wine. She gulped down quickly before she started coughing. Oliver could barely hide the grin on his face.

They hadn’t really discussed kids yet. They had both stated that they liked kids, and Oliver had the feeling that they both wanted one together, but they hadn’t talked it out yet. They probably should have known that, after the engagement, the question of a sibling for Lily wouldn’t be far away. Of course Lily wanted to know this already.

“Lily, I think you should go get ready for bed,” Oliver suggested.

Lily looked at him, obviously about to protest because she hadn’t gotten her answer yet. Oliver perked up his eyebrows slightly, though, and nodded his head towards the door. The six-year-old sighed, but she slid from her chair and walked to the door without any protest.

“I’ll come and read you a story later,” Felicity called after her as soon as she could breathe again.

Oliver watched Felicity lifting the glass of wine to her lips again. She took a few gulps before she put the glass back.

“Wow,” she said, shaking her head slightly. “That was weird.”

Oliver chuckled. “You know Lily. She doesn’t mince matters.”

“You’re right. She doesn’t,” Felicity replied.

Chuckling, she wiped her mouth clean with the napkin before she continued eating. Oliver watched her intensely. It was weird how watching the person you love, eating the dinner you made, could make your day so much better. And it hadn’t even been a bad day.

“Oliver?” Felicity asked him, pulling him out of his thoughts.

“Yes?” he asked back, smiling at her.

“You’re staring at me,” she stated, cocking her head slightly. “Is it possible that it wasn’t exactly Lily’s idea to ask this? I mean… she was the one to ask me if I was going to marry you.”

Oliver grinned. “When I told her that I was going to ask you, she said she’d do that for me.”

Felicity chuckled. “She has no trust in you, does she?”

“She’s a girl. She thinks she can do everything better.”

“She’s a girl. She _can_ do everything better,” Felicity replied with a chuckle. She took another nip of the wine before she cleared her throat. “No, seriously. Did you ask her to ask that?”

“I didn’t,” Oliver replied and shook his head. Felicity cocked her head, eying him up carefully, though. “I am innocent. I swear.”

“You better be,” Felicity replied. She wiped her mouth clean once more, this time putting the napkin to her plate. “That really is something that we should discuss and not Lily and me.”

“Absolutely,” Oliver agreed.

He wiped his mouth clean with his own napkin before he put it to his plate and pushed the plate away from him. He took Felicity’s hand, linking their fingers on the table top. Felicity looked at him, biting down on her bottom lip. Smiling, Oliver reached out his free hand and freed her lip from the maltreatment of Felicity’s teeth.

“So let’s discuss this,” he suggested with a smile. “When do we want to give Lily a sibling?”

Felicity chuckled while a deep blush was spreading over her skin. Oliver smiled, enjoying the view. Seeing Felicity blush was one of the sweetest things he had ever been allowed to observe.

“Don’t you think it’s a little…” Felicity cleared her throat, gesturing around with her hand before finished her sentence, “soon?”

Oliver smiled, squeezing her hand. “It’s why I asked _when_ do we want to give her a sibling and not if we will give her one _now_.”

Felicity bit down on her bottom lip. She lowered her gaze to their linked fingers for a long moment before she lifted her eyes again and looked at him with a slight hesitation.

“Do you think we’re ready for that yet?”

“Well, we are getting married, so I think we are at least getting there, right?” Oliver asked. “Besides, if Lily taught me anything, it’s that you are never truly ready for a baby. We are as ready as people can be, though.”

Felicity sucked in a deep breath. “Is it wrong that I want to wait until after the wedding? It’s old-fashioned, but…”

She shrugged her shoulders, blushing slightly once more. Oliver smiled.

“No, absolutely not,” he replied. “I just wanted to ask if I am right about the feeling that we are getting there one day.”

“It would be nice,” Felicity said with a smile, “one day in the future.”

“One day in the future.”

“Not too far in the future even.”

Oliver smiled. “I like the sound of that.”

They smiled at each other for some minutes, enjoying the comfortable quiet of the moment. The silence was broken when Felicity glanced at her watch and sighed at the late hour.

“Are you going to do the dishes?” she asked him. “I will put Lily to bed.”

“Sure. I’ll get some wine into the living room, so we can discuss the wedding,” he suggested.

Felicity smiled. “Or you could get some wine into the living room, so we can enjoy a few nips before we… let’s say… train for when the time comes to have a baby.”

Oliver grinned smugly. “I would like that.”

“Yeah?” Felicity asked, getting up from her chair. She walked around the table towards him and sat down on his lap. Her hands caressed the back of his neck, playing with some short strands of hair. “I love you, you know that?”

“I do,” Oliver replied. “And I love you, too.”

As soon as her arms wrapped around his neck, she lowered her lips and kissed him gently. Encircling his strong arms around her waist, Oliver straightened up and hummed against her lips. He loved kissing Felicity. Their lips moved together in perfect harmony, responding to everything the other had to give.

Oliver could spend his whole life kissing her. Thanks to the the fact that they had been given a second chance, he was actually able to do so. He was able to spend the rest of his life kissing Felicity.

He had Lily and he had Felicity. He really had everything he wanted and needed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That’s it! My first Olicity Fic Bang Story is over. Thanks to everyone who read and supported this story. I really appreciate it. Special thanks to everyone involved in making this story and the great cover art happen. :)
> 
> I am working on another multi-chapter already. Once my beta will have more time and gets to take a look at the chapters, I’ll start posting. So far five of sixteen chapters have been written. It’s daring, something I have never done before, and I am slightly nervous because I am not sure I handled it as well as I had hoped for, but I think the storyline itself is worth reading nonetheless. ;)


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